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Travel..Explore…

Travel. Learn. Grow. 
What you learn as you go on in life will last longer than what you own….Owning is an illusion…
The journey that is life is such like taking a very long road trip. 

  

This past weekend was adventure filled to say the least. There are so many words to describe it but all I can say is it was PERFECT! 

  

Kenya is a wonderful place to be. I love my country. 

  
Just like life, the road isn’t always smooth. We went through lots of good roads and so many breathtaking sceneries. Let’s just say we took the scenic view..☺️!
But also as there are many good roads, we also had very rough and bumpy roads. Which was welcome too as we went deep into and through the forests. And in such we got to maximize and enjoy and take in all the beauty along the trip. 

Life is like that. 
I wouldn’t personally grow if all the roads in my journey in life were smooth. The tough times I have had and all the challenges I thought I wouldn’t live through shaped me into the woman I am today. I am still growing. The roads can be tough at times and I feel like I cannot move ahead but then I’m reminded that a scenic view is waiting for me to behold and so I fluff my feathers and move along. 
Get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everyday is a gift. Never treat any moment casually. 
As you travel, your eyes are open. You don’t want any moment to pass you by. You breath in clean air. You take in so much beauty. You’re sun-kissed. You enjoy the rain. You feel the warm wind on your skin. Oh my!
A mind stretched by new experiences can NEVER go back to it’s old dimensions. 
Life is full of adventure. 
Travel and be proud of the journey!!

  

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Rambling Thoughts…

  
“Thank you Lord. For today. For the Universe. For family. For food. For school. For teachers…….” A. M. E. N.  
Simple. Genuine. Precise. Leaves you Misty eyed. It’s a simple prayer of a seven-year-old boy…..Night after night mostly we sit by his bedside and pray together and I’m always wowed awed and moved. 

While my prayer is much more detailed sometimes it’s coupled with that days worries and burdens and let-downs…and it shouldn’t. But my human self let’s it!!
Sometimes you have to play the cards you’re dealt. Extraordinary Hardships….will always be there!!
Nothing can prepare us for the adversity life can throw at us. 

Day by Day…we all go through so much and we always grow through it. We all have stories that put our lives into perspective. We should not compare and compete. Instead we should learn from these experiences and get inspired. 
Being older means yes, you have learnt a lot through and through but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open to more lessons, insights and growth. 
Not all classrooms have four walls. Lessons in life are from everywhere and everyone. All the darn time. If you’re not keen enough so many things can pass you by. 
The simple prayer from a child can change your perspective and approach to life. 
A simple idea from a 20 year old to a 60 year old can be eye opening. 
A single person can give a life-changing advice to a married person. 
Are we willing to learn and to keep an open mind?
Be resilient. 
Be uncomfortable at times ( paying attention to your emotions for emotions are meant to be felt not suppressed).
Rewrite your story. Be authentic. Share that story. You’ll realize that when you open up you’ll know people for who they are…!
See the world as it is….ha!!
Be your own superhero. 
Be creative. Improvise where you can. 
Focus on what you have. Don’t wait….
Find your purpose…based on your values. 
Have one person to cheer you on. Be with people who make you think. 
Above all leave your burdens to God. He ALWAYS ALWAYS comes through. 
Pray. 
Believe!!!

PS: (23:05:2015….it’s been three years since Papa passed away. It still feels like yesterday. We miss him dearly and we know he is always smiling down on us)

  

Time Out…

  

“You were not born to pay bills and die!”




I can’t tell you how many times this phrase gets to me. I’m sure I can’t be the only one. At times it feels like it’s like so!! 

We work! Work! Work! Work!
A good friend of mine once asked me along time ago how I fit anything social into my life! It was a true genuine concern which actually saddened that moment…. I actually do…otherwise I would go mad…I said😂😂

Everyone needs time out.

 To re-focus. 

To breathe.

 To be centered. 
I work very hard. That’s a fact. Two jobs. There’s a job after my regular job. But I don’t mind. There are people with no jobs!!

 And there are many people who do the same. Work! Work! Work! I love my job. Helping people who are in pain get better is fulfilling to say the least. I am thankful. Being thankful goes a long way. At least I know it works for me. It’s important that people be thanked for what they do. It really is. Otherwise they might never know how much they’re appreciated. 

The world is ever changing. People have to make ends meet. But also finding a correct balance at times becomes a challenge. Times moves so fast!!
Then you have to have a circle that makes sure you’re grounded. That you don’t have to break when you do these things. When you adult. People who are willing to remind you that it’s okay to take time out and regroup. People who are willing to listen to your troubles and actually understand why you work so hard. People who remind you that asking for help is not being weak. People who don’t judge you in whatever way. 
It’s 9:12am on a somewhat cold-ish Friday. It’s been a tough week of fighting a throat infection and crazy traffic jam. But I’m feeling super energetic and light. 

Life is tough. 

Life is beautiful. 

It’s even better when we take time out every so often. 
Work hard. But live life!!
Life is for living.

 Not for enduring!

  

Another Added Year…

   
 
21:27pm
3rd May 2018. 
It’s my birthday. Yaptidooooo☕️😊
This month I’ll plan to celebrate it everyday as we should. And so I’ve planted a seed of hope and faith in my head and I’ll see to it that it takes root daily. I will water this garden with daily inspiration and positive vibes. 
I spent most of the day replaying the story that is my life and that has been….
There have been huddles and obstacles and I’ve always pulled through somehow. 

 So I’m feeling like I’m Watching it all again and it’s slow motion in some areas and fast in others. And I’m getting that tickling feeling in my chest and thinking to myself: this is what happiness feels like. Being able to accept your journey irregardless of however it has been and picking yourself up when you fall. 
So begins another added year full of explorations and untapped potential.

 Full of cheer and love. 

Full of life and laughter. 

Full of wealth of health. 

Full of God and His guidance. 
The garden looks green so far. I can’t wait for the colors that it’ll provide in the flowering period. 

  

Bright and Beautiful is my belief. 

I can feel it!!

  

Life is For Living…

Nine days ago was my last journal update( I know I know….it’s a long time)…

I wrote, “listen to yourself….the voice that’s in your heart and not your head; it’ll lead you to your goal!”What was I going through?? 😎😎
What can I say….? It’s been a roller-coaster of events and emotions…as usual. It’s amazing how times pan out sometimes…WHOA!!
The mind is a battlefield indeed!!!
We lost a workmate due to a short illness and that really weighed down on us big-time. It was an emotional time to be honest and one that deeply engraved into us the true meaning on living in the moment. Life is indeed for living. May you dance with the angels buddy. 

So I sit and sip on my green tea and reflect on the days gone by and also on the lessons that come with everyday. 

I’ve been having fatigue. Physically. Emotionally. Whateverly…I mean really! I was actually looking for possible vacation locations just Incase… ( it’s good to be optimistic..it’s the thought that counts right?)..I have to make it happen sooner…
I realized that life like I said can pan out in interesting ways:-
1) Confusion: you become confused about your direction and focus as a human being. As it happens confusion can be a strong point in life….for it’s where you get to learn new things. It’s not easy but I’ve learnt to embrace confusion when it happens. You learn about people and situations better. Your eyes are opened. Ps: you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. 
2) Brokenness: this is part of life. There are many things that break us,..but despite it all realize that it comes with healing. It’s never permanent. You learn to heal through music, art, friendships, getaways….
3) Frustration: when you’re frustrated you learn to make authentic decisions. Oh boy! This one is major. So many things can frustrate you. Grrrrrr (breathing in and out)! Lemmi not focus on it today. This tea is calming…Ps: you know you’re on the right track because things stop being easy!!

4) Sadness: oh this month has a fair share of sad moments😿😿😿😿😞. But it’s during this time that you can hear your heart’s wisdom. Do not suppress this emotion at all. Cry if you have to but live through it. Ps: weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.


5) Joy: this is to be experienced almost everyday. There are so many reasons to. Especially when you sit and realize that you’re here. Now. In this very moment. Healthy. Fed. Clothed. Be joyous at all times. 
I’m listening to Jazz. I’m calm. I’m feeling great. I never want to hide from my emotions. I used to but I’ve met people who have taught me not to suppress things. Even if you are stark raving mad. 
Life is for living. Be brave. Be authentic. Be ready. You’re worthy. Always!!!

Ps: when you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better~ Solange!!



  

Being Hands on…

16:12 pm

The 4th day of April 2018. 

Having been in the office the whole day, where it’s been chilly, I’m welcoming the warmth of the sun on my face….and Oh it feels heavenly. 

It’s been a mildly busy day. And my mind has been racing today. Too many things to think about. 

But I can’t complain really. I’m alive. I’m Here….. Now…in this moment😊!

And with my grateful heart, and my rambling thoughts I managed to enjoy a pen down. 

As you grow older, you realize why and how words are only words unless you back them up with some action. 

It’s just a question of training yourself and also the very many experiences you encounter as you scurry through life. 

Life is hands on. 

You have to put actions into the thoughts that fill your mind. Be it affirmations. Dreams. Goals….you have to get into it!

While at it, avoid getting distracted by things that have nothing to do with your goals. 

There are many things that we just think about but we don’t put them into action. Today morning is a good example…I snoozed my phone while I should’ve got out and did my workout. The result was me feeling even more tired. 

Clearly….when you snooze you loose. 

So aim at doing the hard thing. Challenge yourself to do better every moment. Kick out that duvet and face the day. 

I teach my son that you have to be practical in life. Read. Play. Help out…..

This life is not for being spoon fed. It’s tough…it’s beautiful. It’s a one shot chance to be the best we can be. You can’t get through life always thinking you’re right. Make mistakes but give life a chance. Live. 

“A certain type of perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of imperfect!”
Do your art. Dance. Sing. Create. Workout. Read. Hug. Cook. Don’t just talk and talk. 

Try to be hands on. It’s fun. 

  

So Smile…

It’s Friday, It’s been raining( a welcome change from the heat wave that was threatening), I sprinted up from bed 11 minutes late. 5:11am to be exact. But I managed to say a thank you to the Most High. God you’re good to me😊. 
Brushing my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror…long and hard and I smiled. A very complicated smile…built on many layers…
First it was the smile of Gratitude. For Life and lessons learnt. Hard way and easy way. 
Then it was a smile for the Zest that I have to face today. And after being sick, I mean why not smile? I am feeling like a Superstar. 
Then it was a smile of pride, for my son. He was brave enough to pull out his own tooth that we were fighting about😂💪. He could not believe it after he did it… It was on a 1,2,3….pull out count. Kudos son😘!
Then it was a smile of overcoming! You wake up, idiots happen and you manage to overcome nonsense😁! Dalai Lama says, “Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace!” So whoooosa😋!

And the amazing thing about being grown up is that time passes by so quickly. 
Then it was a smile for trust. I’m Learning to trust my journey. I’m loving my energy. 2018 bring it on😋!
Then it was the smile that the person always looking back when I look at the mirror is one that deserves all the good things. I mean, why the hell not??
And so I decided to wear jeans, a light sweater and my Converse shoes. Light and free. Because that’s what smiling does….
Especially if you appreciate all that God has given to you and appreciating yourself. 
Ps: Basically what we see depends on what we are looking for. Look for Joy. Be Joy. 
You’re Lucky. 
I am Lucky. 
So smile😊!
  

You Matter…

“Treat people like mirrors & watch how you reflect in their eyes…!”
A sweet lady I know just sent me this text as I was getting myself ready to scratch this writing itch that has persisted. I journal everyday alright, but that’s different…
This is to tell you that God is Timely, Never doubt that people! I needed that text today…
Monday was a drag! To say the least. But I survived it. That’s why I wanted this therapy. Writing is my Escape. 
Today holds a better promise plus I’m feeling amazing. I am oozing positivity. So let’s indulge in it!
Instead of focusing on making ends meet, which is okay. Let’s live. Now! 
Here is how I am doing it: 
1: Pauline Don’t rush

I am focused on not trying to tackle everything at once. One thing at a time. One emotion at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. To Breathe!
2: Put off/ brush off Negativity 

I am an ambassador of this one. Ha! ha! Someone made me so mad the other day, I was shaking with fury. Literally shaking…Lord have Mercy! I decided consciously to move away from that moment, from that environment and literally sort some air, to breathe…this helped a lot. And while I’m yet to attend to that party..one that I have to sort…I choose to not dwell on it. Quiet time is mandatory to sort through your emotions. Whether they’re raging or not. 
3: Get emotions out

At times life takes you to breaking points. You wanna scream, cry, beat your chest, call out profanities.. It helps. 

Sort through the emotions I say. Handle the emotions nonetheless. Don’t shy away. 

Get in lots of positive vibes. The negative won’t have room. 
4: My Value… My Worth

How much are you worth? Ha! Ha!

Rate yourself as high as you can. I am and I try to be authentic( it’s a lifelong journey), nourish yourself, feed your soul with all the good stuff, trust your journey, be fab. You matter.
5: Just one Me: 

I am becoming the best version of who I am meant to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. But I want more money( 💯✔️😹😹). I am more wholistic in my approach to life. I cherish what I have in the present moment. I am lucky. I realized that my enjoyment of something doubles if I realize just how lucky I am to have it. So cheers to Life. Cheers Pauline. 
6: The Good

Ha!

When you get somethings right, you enjoy so many aspects of life….God. Love. Motherhood. Family. Work. The positive power of Friendships. Food. Etc
I still need more of Sand in my feet and wine in my hands. Vacation. Vacation. 
7: Goals

My goal today is to take yesterday to another level and tomorrow to soar high. But to ultimately sparkle today….go Higher, be better, be more positive, have lots of fun!
8: Quality/ Quantity

The Quality of moments lived is awesome when you maximize on them. No matter how much time you’ve got. Be meaningful. Connect with your moment. 
And so I am smiling because I am feeling good. My itch is scratched. My coffee needs a refill, but I am content. My heart is feeling settled. It’s beating for it’s purpose. I am alive in this moment. I am thankful. 
Ps: You are powerful, prove it to yourself. 😊

  

In this Moment…

Living in the moment…..
Often times, it’s conflicting when you think about this statement. 

Yes, day to day we gather experiences and moments that linger on forever. Not to be edited or forgotten. 
We purpose to be in the here and the now. 
But often times, our mind drifts to the what ifs. 

You become cloudy in judgement of the present moments and doubt kicks in big time.

You miss out on the moment and it passes you by just like that. 

You at times wake up in some mornings and you lack the zest to do anything. 

You feel exhausted and the world weighs in on you…..This is very human. 

You lack the motivation to do anything important.

You feel drained. 

You overthink situations. 

And wonder whether anything you do is truly worthwhile…..Again, a very human tendency. 
It’s at times like this that are wake-me-up moments and turning points because they’re like vampires…they sap the energy right out of you only to leave you totally drained..and you wonder, why you have to dwell on the negative vibes. 
If you’re a positive person most of the times you can relate. It feels like prison. You want to get out of that negative moment and face the world head on. 
You want to get out of that moment and experience what the world has to offer and gain the experience from it all. 
It’s in that moment that you count and appreciate all the blessings that are there. 
It’s in that moment that you pray so hard for added strength. 
It’s in that moment that you realize you have come from so far for you to turn back. 
It’s in that moment that you exhale the bad vibes and inhale the good that is in life. 
It’s in that moment that life makes so much sense you pinch yourself for ever doubting your capabilities. 
It’s in that moment that you truly LIVE!!

  

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