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October 2017

Tomorrow is Not a Guarantee…

23:05:2015

I’ve just taken a motorbike to the hospital to see Papa since it’s visiting hours. It’s some minutes past noon and I have to be there in good time. He has been in hospital for almost a month. He is suffering from Dementia, Hypertension and Diabetes and they had to do a procedure to try see if it can help with the pressure wounds he had developed. 

The state I find him in is not very promising. He is on oxygen. How did this happen? “Complications of the surgery!” They say. He gives me this look. I can’t explain. I give him porridge. He eats abit. 

When the visiting hours are almost over, his condition deteriorates, he is gasping for more air. He is using his abdominal muscles now. As a medic, this is not a good sign. I help prop him some more. It helps only, but a little. 

They tell me to pray, I can’t find the words. I am crying now. So much is on my mind. I pray nonetheless. And wonder if this will be my last time to see what is left of his body…..with some life.  

I go on as difficult as it is and the call comes hours later from my brother that he had taken his last breath. Pronounced dead. 
He suffered. A lot…!
PRESENT DAY: 17:10:2017 

This was not long ago. But it feels like just yesterday when he went to be with The Lord. It’s crazy to think that someone who had such a huge part of your life can be gone in a second. 

It’s a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s the kind of heartache you feel in your bones. 
Is there a proper goodbye really? Just yesterday a friend slept and never woke up…No last words. Nothing. A very young person….so full of life!! 

We never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory~ dr. Seuss. 

THE NOW: 1527hours 



Why do we take life for granted? 

Why don’t we cherish it when we have good health? 

Why do we take for granted people who are placed in our lives? 

Why don’t we treat moments as if they’ll never come again? 

Give your all to what matters?

Do good?

Eat well?

Exercise?

Forgive? 

Move on?

Be in the now?

Our time is limited indeed.

Today is the perfect day to be happy!!!

Cherish it!!

  


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Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script 😂😂💦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

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