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Reach Out Please…

As I bite into this sumptuous buttermilk biscuit I feel like I truly deserve to indulge some. I should also look for some ice cream with caramel or add a chocolate fudge cake. And I’m also craving a double latte. It’s one of those days. Where you feel things you don’t understand. 😀😀😀. 

Sugar rush aside…

I also mean to pour out my heart or maybe rant a bit…just a little bit😁😁

I might sound contradictory but understand That I am feeling things😜😜
I had a very long convo with my mother just the other day and we talked about so many things and about just how many people are in constant competition and comparison issues. That people can’t just be happy for other people. People gotta score. 

Allow me to tell a story: there’s a lady who was having it rough at her home. Typical relationshipp stress, work stress, parenting overload, emotions baggage etc. While she had her friends and siblings all in close proximity, most of them were so consumed in living that none was reaching out to each other and especially this specific sister. When she realized that any attempt to talk to a friend or sister or brother was slim to none she built walls so high, so much so that even when someone eventually decided to care, she decided to be ‘busy!’ She was in constant pain. Emotionally ….but now it was also physical. Disease was and had manifested in her body. ….And she was all ‘alone’. 

Before I continue: we all need that pat on the shoulder. Don’t be fooled if you meet me and I tell you that I don’t. 

Anyway,

One day all hell broke loose and she started vomiting blood. A lot of blood. One minute it’s the ER. The next it’s transfusion. The next kidneys are failing…..The next it’s ICU…..then tests revel waved raptured ulcers. Damn!!!!
The next…..she was gone!!!! At 43!!!

Two kids left behind. And a ‘husband!

“If you want the people you love to really feel loved, it’s essential to risk the awkwardness of asking them what their needs are!”

I can’t quite relate to her story but so many times it’s what most people go through. Stress and holding stuff in has made me have bed rest for days. That’s when I realized just how opening up can be therapeutic. Whoa!!!!

To me I’m a victim of bad communication. I’ve suffered. And it still surfaces. People are people. And life is a cycle. And while it’s very important to reach out. It’s also important to be sought after. Loose the ego. The pride. The selfish interest. The competition. Always rise above these. 

We are brought together by common values and interests. And so when you have people in your life it’s good to know what they’re all about. Just Incase something seems amiss, then you can reach out. 

It breaks my heart a lot when you try so much to reach out and the efforts go unnoticed. Life can be vicious..so just appreciate and reciprocate. 

But I’ve also learnt that it’s good to choose people who choose you. You go where you’re wanted not tolerated. As you go on your everyday life, reach out to someone. You never know. You might just be that hero who saves their life. 

I don’t think the sugar has helped much to my feelings, but just sharing has opened me up. And I’m feeling much better. 

Don’t let those people you say you love feel lonely. Disturb them😜

Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the change, be the difference, or be the inspiration. Shine your light as an example. The world needs more of that. 

Germany Kent. 

  

Focus…

It’s true of many things in life, that for them to be solid then they must have a very firm foundation. I know this sounds so clichè but it’s something that needs constant emphasis in life. All aspects of life need time to build. Alongside it, there must be patience, trust, hope and faith. Raising kids. Relationships. Jobs. Fitness. Businesses. Etc

In the course of the journey that is life, we always have dreams and aspirations but what we fail at is setting our priorities right. We fail because we loose focus at some point. The journey might be so promising and you love the steps but something happens and the focus is gone. Focus is the basis of many solid foundations…for you to enjoy safety that comes with it.  
We are often distracted. We are faced with stupid temptations and greed and instant gratification that out initial focus is lost. 

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m listening to Elevation worship. And it’s the best way to start a day. Sets a Positive focus😄😜… And I’ve had my morning coffee and my workout so I’m pretty upbeat. The weather has been a mix of suuuuuny, chilly and cloudy the past few days. I can’t say much about the speed of the week…it dragged some, it sprinted some and stood still in some days.  
Talking about focus, my mind is still fixated about somewhere nice and coastal. I think as a therapist you need to take a week off after every two months. 

They say that when you feel that life is overwhelming, you should at every moment you get, do something that will shift your energy. Exercise. Call a friend. Have a cuppa. Eat chocolate. Hike. 
Life sprints. Life drags. Life halts. But we must keep the ultimate individual focus. It depends on where you wanna place yourself. Build a solid foundation on things that will always light your path and lift you up. Don’t give up just when you’re about to sky-rocket. Take a big sip in life. Believe. Be bold. Focus. 
From my own misfortune and failures I’ve learnt to wear them and learn from them. 

It’s Go! Go! Go!
I learnt that forward is the way to go at all times. Regardless of what I face….. I Focus. 
I won’t run away from my problems…..anymore😂 I’ll face the issues and fix them. What I can I’ll do. Where I need help I will ask. 
I won’t be ashamed of my past failures. One step up is good enough. 
I won’t procrastinate. There are two choices in life: to accept situations as they are or to take responsibility of changing them. 
I won’t make excuses when it comes to things that matter. It’s simple. Decide what you want and go for it. Don’t sit empty doing nothing about your situations. If you don’t do anything then it means it’s not that important. Face the facts and realities of life!
People will always have opinions and mostly they’re negative. Learn to sort through. You know what’s best. 
Be grateful. Appreciate what you have and try to make it excellent. 

“We cannot become what we want by becoming what we are!” Max Depree



And so the clients are about to stream in. I am happy at  this moment. Just enjoying the fullness of this day. I have every reason to be upbeat. I am Elevated. I am FOCUSED. 

“Starve your distractions. Feed your focus!”

  

Generosity Pays…

Morning Coffee Recipe:

Brew some coffee

Add some ginger 

Add some cinnamon 

Pour the above in your favorite mug

Sweeten with some honey

Let that aroma fill you up

Now sip slooooooooooowly….

Feel how that first sip fills your soul and elevates your mood…

Enjoy and better yet, make two mugs😜!
Everyday we are generously given twenty four hours to enjoy each moment and to be grateful for being here. How we get to start and live through each day is entirely up to us. 
As I sip on my awesome coffee, I can’t help but smile. It’s a cold day. It’s been generally cold for This month of August. So keeping warm is necessary. These are simple life’s pleasures.. So take time and feel each moment for what it is. 
Oh My!

Life has been sprinting…Literally!!!!

So much to do. So little time. But besides being on the grind, I am always grateful for being here and making a difference. 

There are so many situations that happen that make me appreciate the art of giving and being cheerful about it. This I am going to teach all my children( however many I will be blessed with)

When you give, you find yourself always happy. Well, unless you find those people along the path of life that make you turn into someone you’re not by taking advantage of your kindness over and over. 
It’s such a quiet morning and this is on purpose. I just wanted silence to blog this😜. There are those mornings that you just want comfortable silence around you. Just so you can reflect. 
So…about giving…(before I digress)..

The more good you do for the world, the better life goes. Giving has to come from the heart. You have to Actually care to give. 

Don’t wait to gain something. It’s a man eat man society as it is and people are looking for instant gratification. What’s in it for them is what they chase. This in turn has made relationships of all sorts loose the true meaning. 
There is magic in giving. True giving makes many things just get better and better. You can never lack if you’re a true giver. And if you’re unhappy as a giver then you’re not in alignment with who you are as a person and it’s not because of what anyone else is doing. 

Remember: what people do is because of them, NOT YOU!!

Jim Rohn: Nothing teaches character better than Generosity. 


Practicing generosity trains you to understand that you already have enough. I’m usually not one to ask for what I want or need (it happens when you go and grow in hardship) but it feels good to help others. But I realize that I’m depriving other people the joy that comes from helping others…so I’ll learn to ask🙊!
Sometimes I struggle in so many ways and things ( I’m still a work in progress..you know😊) and so when a kind gesture is thrown my way it can feel uncomfortable at times. I was reminded the other day that I don’t have to match other people’s generosity. It should come from a place of love. We as human beings like to complicate issues. 

Giving has a ripple effect….most people forget this fact. 
You welcome lots of blessings. The more you give the more you find joy in it. Do all the good you can by all means you can, in all ways you can, in all places you can, in all times you can, to all people you can, as long as ever you can. 
You’re going to find people who’re going to just take and take advantage of your generosity and it can make your energy wane. There are these people in life and there is nothing we can do about them. They enjoy being mean. Don’t let that turn you into them. Resist!
So give from a place of love and enjoy it!!!
  
 

Warm Thoughts…

6:45pm Dark is fast approaching, traffic is heavy, muscles almost feel sore for fighting to keep me warm, I’m bundled up. The layers somehow make me heavier but warm. 

There’s a deep crave for very hot chocolate and warm buttermilk biscuits. I am fatigued and in dire need of some time off. 

I feel like I’m programmed only that my battery is low. So low. 
The thing about all work and no play is making you put so many things on hold. Time comes when you want to just hang your gloves and stop the fight…but the bell doesn’t ring…the fight goes on and on. Life presents you with so many hard knocks…..but you have to just get back up and fight….
But, I am thinking warm thoughts and so I’m hoping Mother Nature can think warmly too and smile some. And soon. 
And so, it’s a wake up call to take some much needed rest. I strongly suggest. Change the environment you’re in if only for three days. Stretch those sore muscles. Breathe out. Get back up and knock out negativity. You have purpose. Let it drive you. To sunshiny thoughts. To victory. To rest your mind and to feed your soul. To recharge your batteries. To know that sometimes the winds of change take us to better places. 
It’s worth it. 

You’re worth it. 

I’m worth it!!
Ps: stand close to people who feel like sunshine. It makes the journey in life easy😊☀️☀️

  

Rambling Thoughts…

  
“Thank you Lord. For today. For the Universe. For family. For food. For school. For teachers…….” A. M. E. N.  
Simple. Genuine. Precise. Leaves you Misty eyed. It’s a simple prayer of a seven-year-old boy…..Night after night mostly we sit by his bedside and pray together and I’m always wowed awed and moved. 

While my prayer is much more detailed sometimes it’s coupled with that days worries and burdens and let-downs…and it shouldn’t. But my human self let’s it!!
Sometimes you have to play the cards you’re dealt. Extraordinary Hardships….will always be there!!
Nothing can prepare us for the adversity life can throw at us. 

Day by Day…we all go through so much and we always grow through it. We all have stories that put our lives into perspective. We should not compare and compete. Instead we should learn from these experiences and get inspired. 
Being older means yes, you have learnt a lot through and through but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open to more lessons, insights and growth. 
Not all classrooms have four walls. Lessons in life are from everywhere and everyone. All the darn time. If you’re not keen enough so many things can pass you by. 
The simple prayer from a child can change your perspective and approach to life. 
A simple idea from a 20 year old to a 60 year old can be eye opening. 
A single person can give a life-changing advice to a married person. 
Are we willing to learn and to keep an open mind?
Be resilient. 
Be uncomfortable at times ( paying attention to your emotions for emotions are meant to be felt not suppressed).
Rewrite your story. Be authentic. Share that story. You’ll realize that when you open up you’ll know people for who they are…!
See the world as it is….ha!!
Be your own superhero. 
Be creative. Improvise where you can. 
Focus on what you have. Don’t wait….
Find your purpose…based on your values. 
Have one person to cheer you on. Be with people who make you think. 
Above all leave your burdens to God. He ALWAYS ALWAYS comes through. 
Pray. 
Believe!!!

PS: (23:05:2015….it’s been three years since Papa passed away. It still feels like yesterday. We miss him dearly and we know he is always smiling down on us)

  

Time Out…

  

“You were not born to pay bills and die!”




I can’t tell you how many times this phrase gets to me. I’m sure I can’t be the only one. At times it feels like it’s like so!! 

We work! Work! Work! Work!
A good friend of mine once asked me along time ago how I fit anything social into my life! It was a true genuine concern which actually saddened that moment…. I actually do…otherwise I would go mad…I said😂😂

Everyone needs time out.

 To re-focus. 

To breathe.

 To be centered. 
I work very hard. That’s a fact. Two jobs. There’s a job after my regular job. But I don’t mind. There are people with no jobs!!

 And there are many people who do the same. Work! Work! Work! I love my job. Helping people who are in pain get better is fulfilling to say the least. I am thankful. Being thankful goes a long way. At least I know it works for me. It’s important that people be thanked for what they do. It really is. Otherwise they might never know how much they’re appreciated. 

The world is ever changing. People have to make ends meet. But also finding a correct balance at times becomes a challenge. Times moves so fast!!
Then you have to have a circle that makes sure you’re grounded. That you don’t have to break when you do these things. When you adult. People who are willing to remind you that it’s okay to take time out and regroup. People who are willing to listen to your troubles and actually understand why you work so hard. People who remind you that asking for help is not being weak. People who don’t judge you in whatever way. 
It’s 9:12am on a somewhat cold-ish Friday. It’s been a tough week of fighting a throat infection and crazy traffic jam. But I’m feeling super energetic and light. 

Life is tough. 

Life is beautiful. 

It’s even better when we take time out every so often. 
Work hard. But live life!!
Life is for living.

 Not for enduring!

  

Life is For Living…

Nine days ago was my last journal update( I know I know….it’s a long time)…

I wrote, “listen to yourself….the voice that’s in your heart and not your head; it’ll lead you to your goal!”What was I going through?? 😎😎
What can I say….? It’s been a roller-coaster of events and emotions…as usual. It’s amazing how times pan out sometimes…WHOA!!
The mind is a battlefield indeed!!!
We lost a workmate due to a short illness and that really weighed down on us big-time. It was an emotional time to be honest and one that deeply engraved into us the true meaning on living in the moment. Life is indeed for living. May you dance with the angels buddy. 

So I sit and sip on my green tea and reflect on the days gone by and also on the lessons that come with everyday. 

I’ve been having fatigue. Physically. Emotionally. Whateverly…I mean really! I was actually looking for possible vacation locations just Incase… ( it’s good to be optimistic..it’s the thought that counts right?)..I have to make it happen sooner…
I realized that life like I said can pan out in interesting ways:-
1) Confusion: you become confused about your direction and focus as a human being. As it happens confusion can be a strong point in life….for it’s where you get to learn new things. It’s not easy but I’ve learnt to embrace confusion when it happens. You learn about people and situations better. Your eyes are opened. Ps: you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. 
2) Brokenness: this is part of life. There are many things that break us,..but despite it all realize that it comes with healing. It’s never permanent. You learn to heal through music, art, friendships, getaways….
3) Frustration: when you’re frustrated you learn to make authentic decisions. Oh boy! This one is major. So many things can frustrate you. Grrrrrr (breathing in and out)! Lemmi not focus on it today. This tea is calming…Ps: you know you’re on the right track because things stop being easy!!

4) Sadness: oh this month has a fair share of sad moments😿😿😿😿😞. But it’s during this time that you can hear your heart’s wisdom. Do not suppress this emotion at all. Cry if you have to but live through it. Ps: weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.


5) Joy: this is to be experienced almost everyday. There are so many reasons to. Especially when you sit and realize that you’re here. Now. In this very moment. Healthy. Fed. Clothed. Be joyous at all times. 
I’m listening to Jazz. I’m calm. I’m feeling great. I never want to hide from my emotions. I used to but I’ve met people who have taught me not to suppress things. Even if you are stark raving mad. 
Life is for living. Be brave. Be authentic. Be ready. You’re worthy. Always!!!

Ps: when you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better~ Solange!!



  

So Smile…

It’s Friday, It’s been raining( a welcome change from the heat wave that was threatening), I sprinted up from bed 11 minutes late. 5:11am to be exact. But I managed to say a thank you to the Most High. God you’re good to me😊. 
Brushing my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror…long and hard and I smiled. A very complicated smile…built on many layers…
First it was the smile of Gratitude. For Life and lessons learnt. Hard way and easy way. 
Then it was a smile for the Zest that I have to face today. And after being sick, I mean why not smile? I am feeling like a Superstar. 
Then it was a smile of pride, for my son. He was brave enough to pull out his own tooth that we were fighting about😂💪. He could not believe it after he did it… It was on a 1,2,3….pull out count. Kudos son😘!
Then it was a smile of overcoming! You wake up, idiots happen and you manage to overcome nonsense😁! Dalai Lama says, “Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace!” So whoooosa😋!

And the amazing thing about being grown up is that time passes by so quickly. 
Then it was a smile for trust. I’m Learning to trust my journey. I’m loving my energy. 2018 bring it on😋!
Then it was the smile that the person always looking back when I look at the mirror is one that deserves all the good things. I mean, why the hell not??
And so I decided to wear jeans, a light sweater and my Converse shoes. Light and free. Because that’s what smiling does….
Especially if you appreciate all that God has given to you and appreciating yourself. 
Ps: Basically what we see depends on what we are looking for. Look for Joy. Be Joy. 
You’re Lucky. 
I am Lucky. 
So smile😊!
  

You Matter…

“Treat people like mirrors & watch how you reflect in their eyes…!”
A sweet lady I know just sent me this text as I was getting myself ready to scratch this writing itch that has persisted. I journal everyday alright, but that’s different…
This is to tell you that God is Timely, Never doubt that people! I needed that text today…
Monday was a drag! To say the least. But I survived it. That’s why I wanted this therapy. Writing is my Escape. 
Today holds a better promise plus I’m feeling amazing. I am oozing positivity. So let’s indulge in it!
Instead of focusing on making ends meet, which is okay. Let’s live. Now! 
Here is how I am doing it: 
1: Pauline Don’t rush

I am focused on not trying to tackle everything at once. One thing at a time. One emotion at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. To Breathe!
2: Put off/ brush off Negativity 

I am an ambassador of this one. Ha! ha! Someone made me so mad the other day, I was shaking with fury. Literally shaking…Lord have Mercy! I decided consciously to move away from that moment, from that environment and literally sort some air, to breathe…this helped a lot. And while I’m yet to attend to that party..one that I have to sort…I choose to not dwell on it. Quiet time is mandatory to sort through your emotions. Whether they’re raging or not. 
3: Get emotions out

At times life takes you to breaking points. You wanna scream, cry, beat your chest, call out profanities.. It helps. 

Sort through the emotions I say. Handle the emotions nonetheless. Don’t shy away. 

Get in lots of positive vibes. The negative won’t have room. 
4: My Value… My Worth

How much are you worth? Ha! Ha!

Rate yourself as high as you can. I am and I try to be authentic( it’s a lifelong journey), nourish yourself, feed your soul with all the good stuff, trust your journey, be fab. You matter.
5: Just one Me: 

I am becoming the best version of who I am meant to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. But I want more money( 💯✔️😹😹). I am more wholistic in my approach to life. I cherish what I have in the present moment. I am lucky. I realized that my enjoyment of something doubles if I realize just how lucky I am to have it. So cheers to Life. Cheers Pauline. 
6: The Good

Ha!

When you get somethings right, you enjoy so many aspects of life….God. Love. Motherhood. Family. Work. The positive power of Friendships. Food. Etc
I still need more of Sand in my feet and wine in my hands. Vacation. Vacation. 
7: Goals

My goal today is to take yesterday to another level and tomorrow to soar high. But to ultimately sparkle today….go Higher, be better, be more positive, have lots of fun!
8: Quality/ Quantity

The Quality of moments lived is awesome when you maximize on them. No matter how much time you’ve got. Be meaningful. Connect with your moment. 
And so I am smiling because I am feeling good. My itch is scratched. My coffee needs a refill, but I am content. My heart is feeling settled. It’s beating for it’s purpose. I am alive in this moment. I am thankful. 
Ps: You are powerful, prove it to yourself. 😊

  

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