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feelings

Reach Out Please…

As I bite into this sumptuous buttermilk biscuit I feel like I truly deserve to indulge some. I should also look for some ice cream with caramel or add a chocolate fudge cake. And I’m also craving a double latte. It’s one of those days. Where you feel things you don’t understand. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€. 

Sugar rush aside…

I also mean to pour out my heart or maybe rant a bit…just a little bit๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

I might sound contradictory but understand That I am feeling things๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
I had a very long convo with my mother just the other day and we talked about so many things and about just how many people are in constant competition and comparison issues. That people can’t just be happy for other people. People gotta score. 

Allow me to tell a story: there’s a lady who was having it rough at her home. Typical relationshipp stress, work stress, parenting overload, emotions baggage etc. While she had her friends and siblings all in close proximity, most of them were so consumed in living that none was reaching out to each other and especially this specific sister. When she realized that any attempt to talk to a friend or sister or brother was slim to none she built walls so high, so much so that even when someone eventually decided to care, she decided to be ‘busy!’ She was in constant pain. Emotionally ….but now it was also physical. Disease was and had manifested in her body. ….And she was all ‘alone’. 

Before I continue: we all need that pat on the shoulder. Don’t be fooled if you meet me and I tell you that I don’t. 

Anyway,

One day all hell broke loose and she started vomiting blood. A lot of blood. One minute it’s the ER. The next it’s transfusion. The next kidneys are failing…..The next it’s ICU…..then tests revel waved raptured ulcers. Damn!!!!
The next…..she was gone!!!! At 43!!!

Two kids left behind. And a ‘husband!

“If you want the people you love to really feel loved, it’s essential to risk the awkwardness of asking them what their needs are!”

I can’t quite relate to her story but so many times it’s what most people go through. Stress and holding stuff in has made me have bed rest for days. That’s when I realized just how opening up can be therapeutic. Whoa!!!!

To me I’m a victim of bad communication. I’ve suffered. And it still surfaces. People are people. And life is a cycle. And while it’s very important to reach out. It’s also important to be sought after. Loose the ego. The pride. The selfish interest. The competition. Always rise above these. 

We are brought together by common values and interests. And so when you have people in your life it’s good to know what they’re all about. Just Incase something seems amiss, then you can reach out. 

It breaks my heart a lot when you try so much to reach out and the efforts go unnoticed. Life can be vicious..so just appreciate and reciprocate. 

But I’ve also learnt that it’s good to choose people who choose you. You go where you’re wanted not tolerated. As you go on your everyday life, reach out to someone. You never know. You might just be that hero who saves their life. 

I don’t think the sugar has helped much to my feelings, but just sharing has opened me up. And I’m feeling much better. 

Don’t let those people you say you love feel lonely. Disturb them๐Ÿ˜œ

Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the change, be the difference, or be the inspiration. Shine your light as an example. The world needs more of that. 

Germany Kent. 

  

Focus…

It’s true of many things in life, that for them to be solid then they must have a very firm foundation. I know this sounds so clichรจ but it’s something that needs constant emphasis in life. All aspects of life need time to build. Alongside it, there must be patience, trust, hope and faith. Raising kids. Relationships. Jobs. Fitness. Businesses. Etc

In the course of the journey that is life, we always have dreams and aspirations but what we fail at is setting our priorities right. We fail because we loose focus at some point. The journey might be so promising and you love the steps but something happens and the focus is gone. Focus is the basis of many solid foundations…for you to enjoy safety that comes with it.  
We are often distracted. We are faced with stupid temptations and greed and instant gratification that out initial focus is lost. 

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m listening to Elevation worship. And it’s the best way to start a day. Sets a Positive focus๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜œ… And I’ve had my morning coffee and my workout so I’m pretty upbeat. The weather has been a mix of suuuuuny, chilly and cloudy the past few days. I can’t say much about the speed of the week…it dragged some, it sprinted some and stood still in some days.  
Talking about focus, my mind is still fixated about somewhere nice and coastal. I think as a therapist you need to take a week off after every two months. 

They say that when you feel that life is overwhelming, you should at every moment you get, do something that will shift your energy. Exercise. Call a friend. Have a cuppa. Eat chocolate. Hike. 
Life sprints. Life drags. Life halts. But we must keep the ultimate individual focus. It depends on where you wanna place yourself. Build a solid foundation on things that will always light your path and lift you up. Don’t give up just when you’re about to sky-rocket. Take a big sip in life. Believe. Be bold. Focus. 
From my own misfortune and failures I’ve learnt to wear them and learn from them. 

It’s Go! Go! Go!
I learnt that forward is the way to go at all times. Regardless of what I face….. I Focus. 
I won’t run away from my problems…..anymore๐Ÿ˜‚ I’ll face the issues and fix them. What I can I’ll do. Where I need help I will ask. 
I won’t be ashamed of my past failures. One step up is good enough. 
I won’t procrastinate. There are two choices in life: to accept situations as they are or to take responsibility of changing them. 
I won’t make excuses when it comes to things that matter. It’s simple. Decide what you want and go for it. Don’t sit empty doing nothing about your situations. If you don’t do anything then it means it’s not that important. Face the facts and realities of life!
People will always have opinions and mostly they’re negative. Learn to sort through. You know what’s best. 
Be grateful. Appreciate what you have and try to make it excellent. 

“We cannot become what we want by becoming what we are!” Max Depree



And so the clients are about to stream in. I am happy at  this moment. Just enjoying the fullness of this day. I have every reason to be upbeat. I am Elevated. I am FOCUSED. 

“Starve your distractions. Feed your focus!”

  

Warm Thoughts…

6:45pm Dark is fast approaching, traffic is heavy, muscles almost feel sore for fighting to keep me warm, I’m bundled up. The layers somehow make me heavier but warm. 

There’s a deep crave for very hot chocolate and warm buttermilk biscuits. I am fatigued and in dire need of some time off. 

I feel like I’m programmed only that my battery is low. So low. 
The thing about all work and no play is making you put so many things on hold. Time comes when you want to just hang your gloves and stop the fight…but the bell doesn’t ring…the fight goes on and on. Life presents you with so many hard knocks…..but you have to just get back up and fight….
But, I am thinking warm thoughts and so I’m hoping Mother Nature can think warmly too and smile some. And soon. 
And so, it’s a wake up call to take some much needed rest. I strongly suggest. Change the environment you’re in if only for three days. Stretch those sore muscles. Breathe out. Get back up and knock out negativity. You have purpose. Let it drive you. To sunshiny thoughts. To victory. To rest your mind and to feed your soul. To recharge your batteries. To know that sometimes the winds of change take us to better places. 
It’s worth it. 

You’re worth it. 

I’m worth it!!
Ps: stand close to people who feel like sunshine. It makes the journey in life easy๐Ÿ˜Šโ˜€๏ธโ˜€๏ธ

  

Rambling Thoughts…

  
“Thank you Lord. For today. For the Universe. For family. For food. For school. For teachers…….” A. M. E. N.  
Simple. Genuine. Precise. Leaves you Misty eyed. It’s a simple prayer of a seven-year-old boy…..Night after night mostly we sit by his bedside and pray together and I’m always wowed awed and moved. 

While my prayer is much more detailed sometimes it’s coupled with that days worries and burdens and let-downs…and it shouldn’t. But my human self let’s it!!
Sometimes you have to play the cards you’re dealt. Extraordinary Hardships….will always be there!!
Nothing can prepare us for the adversity life can throw at us. 

Day by Day…we all go through so much and we always grow through it. We all have stories that put our lives into perspective. We should not compare and compete. Instead we should learn from these experiences and get inspired. 
Being older means yes, you have learnt a lot through and through but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open to more lessons, insights and growth. 
Not all classrooms have four walls. Lessons in life are from everywhere and everyone. All the darn time. If you’re not keen enough so many things can pass you by. 
The simple prayer from a child can change your perspective and approach to life. 
A simple idea from a 20 year old to a 60 year old can be eye opening. 
A single person can give a life-changing advice to a married person. 
Are we willing to learn and to keep an open mind?
Be resilient. 
Be uncomfortable at times ( paying attention to your emotions for emotions are meant to be felt not suppressed).
Rewrite your story. Be authentic. Share that story. You’ll realize that when you open up you’ll know people for who they are…!
See the world as it is….ha!!
Be your own superhero. 
Be creative. Improvise where you can. 
Focus on what you have. Don’t wait….
Find your purpose…based on your values. 
Have one person to cheer you on. Be with people who make you think. 
Above all leave your burdens to God. He ALWAYS ALWAYS comes through. 
Pray. 
Believe!!!

PS: (23:05:2015….it’s been three years since Papa passed away. It still feels like yesterday. We miss him dearly and we know he is always smiling down on us)

  

You Matter…

“Treat people like mirrors & watch how you reflect in their eyes…!”
A sweet lady I know just sent me this text as I was getting myself ready to scratch this writing itch that has persisted. I journal everyday alright, but that’s different…
This is to tell you that God is Timely, Never doubt that people! I needed that text today…
Monday was a drag! To say the least. But I survived it. That’s why I wanted this therapy. Writing is my Escape. 
Today holds a better promise plus I’m feeling amazing. I am oozing positivity. So let’s indulge in it!
Instead of focusing on making ends meet, which is okay. Let’s live. Now! 
Here is how I am doing it: 
1: Pauline Don’t rush

I am focused on not trying to tackle everything at once. One thing at a time. One emotion at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. To Breathe!
2: Put off/ brush off Negativity 

I am an ambassador of this one. Ha! ha! Someone made me so mad the other day, I was shaking with fury. Literally shaking…Lord have Mercy! I decided consciously to move away from that moment, from that environment and literally sort some air, to breathe…this helped a lot. And while I’m yet to attend to that party..one that I have to sort…I choose to not dwell on it. Quiet time is mandatory to sort through your emotions. Whether they’re raging or not. 
3: Get emotions out

At times life takes you to breaking points. You wanna scream, cry, beat your chest, call out profanities.. It helps. 

Sort through the emotions I say. Handle the emotions nonetheless. Don’t shy away. 

Get in lots of positive vibes. The negative won’t have room. 
4: My Value… My Worth

How much are you worth? Ha! Ha!

Rate yourself as high as you can. I am and I try to be authentic( it’s a lifelong journey), nourish yourself, feed your soul with all the good stuff, trust your journey, be fab. You matter.
5: Just one Me: 

I am becoming the best version of who I am meant to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. But I want more money( ๐Ÿ’ฏโœ”๏ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น). I am more wholistic in my approach to life. I cherish what I have in the present moment. I am lucky. I realized that my enjoyment of something doubles if I realize just how lucky I am to have it. So cheers to Life. Cheers Pauline. 
6: The Good

Ha!

When you get somethings right, you enjoy so many aspects of life….God. Love. Motherhood. Family. Work. The positive power of Friendships. Food. Etc
I still need more of Sand in my feet and wine in my hands. Vacation. Vacation. 
7: Goals

My goal today is to take yesterday to another level and tomorrow to soar high. But to ultimately sparkle today….go Higher, be better, be more positive, have lots of fun!
8: Quality/ Quantity

The Quality of moments lived is awesome when you maximize on them. No matter how much time you’ve got. Be meaningful. Connect with your moment. 
And so I am smiling because I am feeling good. My itch is scratched. My coffee needs a refill, but I am content. My heart is feeling settled. It’s beating for it’s purpose. I am alive in this moment. I am thankful. 
Ps: You are powerful, prove it to yourself. ๐Ÿ˜Š

  

Acknowledge Yourself…

“Be a good person but don’t waste your time proving it…!”
That’s a fact!!!
Why do we waste out time proving who we are to people who least deserve it? I know for a fact that if someone doesn’t butter your bread or impact your life in any way, they don’t deserve any occupancy in your thoughts. So don’t rent it to them!!! Some people walk around thinking of ways to make some people notice just how good of a person they are… Or they truly want to share their world with that/those people. But why???
With time and as you age(lol), you learn that of all things (among many) that one can do….proving your worth is something you cannot do to some people. 
If you know you are doing things right,,,,treating people like they matter, giving the best version of yourself…then don’t wait for acknowledgment…so long as you’re happy being you…do it and don’t fret!!!
But if you are busy impressing people, then you’re in for a downfall….

Learn to acknowledge who you TRULY are….your worth….your ALL….look inside you….coz sometimes even a mirror hides…!!!
DON’T Sit and wait to be acknowledged and bore people with the need and want to be seen. Be rather invisible in this busy world….do what you can do and do it well.   
Walk away satisfied. 
Ofcos gratitude goes along way. When we are acknowledged we carry it with us and do far much greater things….
All in all, remember that you matter and especially to yourself. 
Be authentic!!!

  

  

The Here and Now….

Days fly by so fast. So so so fast. At times you can’t catch up. Other times you are at per…..In the moment….
You go through life expecting things to happen for you. Doing what everyone expect of you, tucking your happiness under your pillow when you make your bed in the morning on some days and on other days letting things go and focusing on the now. At times you don’t take charge of your life…You at times decide to just be…
I am ๐Ÿ’ฏ% responsible for my life. I am my choices. I am in charge. I just need to remember that. Always.
I could give me more credit for my talents and abilities. I could do with more belief in self and confidence. This is always a work in progress in all of us….
The weekend felt awesome and it proceeded to make Monday feel like an additional day in the weekend. You laugh so hard you wanna cry or you actually do. These moments don’t happen everyday but they happen. Special moments. Bonding with family and friends….
I only got one shot in life. This is it. It’s a great gift. I mean why should I not enjoy everything that it has to offer? We can’t turn back the hands of time and do things over again. Nope. You just can’t!!
You have to venture out. Into the unknown. With faith. Belief in self. Smiles. Laughter. Tears. Heartbreak. Highs. Lows. All of it. 
Just know how to react to the situations. 
Remember: God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds. Reminding us not to force anything…for things happen perfectly in time…
Stay Zen!!
  
 

Dear Diary (Part One)..

It’s always good to write down stuff as it’s a form of therapy. So I went ahead and looked up some of my entries of last year. Writing is indeed awesome. Try it. Thank me later.
Simple things in Life with Immense positive effects…


20/06/2016:
“Faced with awkward moments can stir you up in the wrong way…it can linger if you allow it…”

I wonder what was happening. But it was a cold day. Evidently, I did not let it freeze me or my thoughts. I warmed it up….warm Thoughts, a book and a Mocha…oh Yum!!!


23/06/2016
: I know that if I try to take on much, I can find a way to make excuses…so I make my daily goals Tiny..

Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the Bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it…
What a day that was huh!!?


25/06/2016:
Keep Learning and expanding. Life is a continuous learning experience. Take time to embrace the Surroundings. Be Thankful for what you have!!

Basically I was reminding myself of the simplicity of life (if we make it simple that is) and just being Thankful for life.

23/10/2016: Wow, I must have been writing  elsewhere. Lol  This Was quite a break!!

I quoted C. S. Lewis, “Friendship is necessary, Like Philosophy…like Art…it has no survival Value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival…..I hear you Lewis!!!

25/10/2016: Practice the art of being all there: give your time, touch, pat on the shoulder…be all there: give! give! give! Make effort!!!!

Uh huh…this was a heart to heart with myself. But basically, in the day to day living and interactions with people who matter you have to be all there!!


26/10/2016
: Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake You!”

How often do you write? Does it work for you?
It should!!! Reallyโ—๏ธ

Lemmi just add a quote, “everything of Value has a Foundation!”

Quotable Quotes…

Stop being on auto-pilot, Put yourself first, 

Recognize yourself, 

Stop pleasing other people,

or chasing some version of success that doesn’t resonate with you,

No need to numb it out with food, shopping, booze, TV, or other distractions,

Stop being worn down, beat up, stressed out, and completely depleted…. 
Wake Up

Live Intentionally!!! 

 

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