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Grief

Reach Out Please…

As I bite into this sumptuous buttermilk biscuit I feel like I truly deserve to indulge some. I should also look for some ice cream with caramel or add a chocolate fudge cake. And I’m also craving a double latte. It’s one of those days. Where you feel things you don’t understand. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€. 

Sugar rush aside…

I also mean to pour out my heart or maybe rant a bit…just a little bit😁😁

I might sound contradictory but understand That I am feeling things😜😜
I had a very long convo with my mother just the other day and we talked about so many things and about just how many people are in constant competition and comparison issues. That people can’t just be happy for other people. People gotta score. 

Allow me to tell a story: there’s a lady who was having it rough at her home. Typical relationshipp stress, work stress, parenting overload, emotions baggage etc. While she had her friends and siblings all in close proximity, most of them were so consumed in living that none was reaching out to each other and especially this specific sister. When she realized that any attempt to talk to a friend or sister or brother was slim to none she built walls so high, so much so that even when someone eventually decided to care, she decided to be ‘busy!’ She was in constant pain. Emotionally ….but now it was also physical. Disease was and had manifested in her body. ….And she was all ‘alone’. 

Before I continue: we all need that pat on the shoulder. Don’t be fooled if you meet me and I tell you that I don’t. 

Anyway,

One day all hell broke loose and she started vomiting blood. A lot of blood. One minute it’s the ER. The next it’s transfusion. The next kidneys are failing…..The next it’s ICU…..then tests revel waved raptured ulcers. Damn!!!!
The next…..she was gone!!!! At 43!!!

Two kids left behind. And a ‘husband!

“If you want the people you love to really feel loved, it’s essential to risk the awkwardness of asking them what their needs are!”

I can’t quite relate to her story but so many times it’s what most people go through. Stress and holding stuff in has made me have bed rest for days. That’s when I realized just how opening up can be therapeutic. Whoa!!!!

To me I’m a victim of bad communication. I’ve suffered. And it still surfaces. People are people. And life is a cycle. And while it’s very important to reach out. It’s also important to be sought after. Loose the ego. The pride. The selfish interest. The competition. Always rise above these. 

We are brought together by common values and interests. And so when you have people in your life it’s good to know what they’re all about. Just Incase something seems amiss, then you can reach out. 

It breaks my heart a lot when you try so much to reach out and the efforts go unnoticed. Life can be vicious..so just appreciate and reciprocate. 

But I’ve also learnt that it’s good to choose people who choose you. You go where you’re wanted not tolerated. As you go on your everyday life, reach out to someone. You never know. You might just be that hero who saves their life. 

I don’t think the sugar has helped much to my feelings, but just sharing has opened me up. And I’m feeling much better. 

Don’t let those people you say you love feel lonely. Disturb them😜

Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the change, be the difference, or be the inspiration. Shine your light as an example. The world needs more of that. 

Germany Kent. 

  

Rambling Thoughts…

  
“Thank you Lord. For today. For the Universe. For family. For food. For school. For teachers…….” A. M. E. N.  
Simple. Genuine. Precise. Leaves you Misty eyed. It’s a simple prayer of a seven-year-old boy…..Night after night mostly we sit by his bedside and pray together and I’m always wowed awed and moved. 

While my prayer is much more detailed sometimes it’s coupled with that days worries and burdens and let-downs…and it shouldn’t. But my human self let’s it!!
Sometimes you have to play the cards you’re dealt. Extraordinary Hardships….will always be there!!
Nothing can prepare us for the adversity life can throw at us. 

Day by Day…we all go through so much and we always grow through it. We all have stories that put our lives into perspective. We should not compare and compete. Instead we should learn from these experiences and get inspired. 
Being older means yes, you have learnt a lot through and through but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open to more lessons, insights and growth. 
Not all classrooms have four walls. Lessons in life are from everywhere and everyone. All the darn time. If you’re not keen enough so many things can pass you by. 
The simple prayer from a child can change your perspective and approach to life. 
A simple idea from a 20 year old to a 60 year old can be eye opening. 
A single person can give a life-changing advice to a married person. 
Are we willing to learn and to keep an open mind?
Be resilient. 
Be uncomfortable at times ( paying attention to your emotions for emotions are meant to be felt not suppressed).
Rewrite your story. Be authentic. Share that story. You’ll realize that when you open up you’ll know people for who they are…!
See the world as it is….ha!!
Be your own superhero. 
Be creative. Improvise where you can. 
Focus on what you have. Don’t wait….
Find your purpose…based on your values. 
Have one person to cheer you on. Be with people who make you think. 
Above all leave your burdens to God. He ALWAYS ALWAYS comes through. 
Pray. 
Believe!!!

PS: (23:05:2015….it’s been three years since Papa passed away. It still feels like yesterday. We miss him dearly and we know he is always smiling down on us)

  

Tomorrow is Not a Guarantee…

23:05:2015

I’ve just taken a motorbike to the hospital to see Papa since it’s visiting hours. It’s some minutes past noon and I have to be there in good time. He has been in hospital for almost a month. He is suffering from Dementia, Hypertension and Diabetes and they had to do a procedure to try see if it can help with the pressure wounds he had developed. 

The state I find him in is not very promising. He is on oxygen. How did this happen? “Complications of the surgery!” They say. He gives me this look. I can’t explain. I give him porridge. He eats abit. 

When the visiting hours are almost over, his condition deteriorates, he is gasping for more air. He is using his abdominal muscles now. As a medic, this is not a good sign. I help prop him some more. It helps only, but a little. 

They tell me to pray, I can’t find the words. I am crying now. So much is on my mind. I pray nonetheless. And wonder if this will be my last time to see what is left of his body…..with some life.  

I go on as difficult as it is and the call comes hours later from my brother that he had taken his last breath. Pronounced dead. 
He suffered. A lot…!
PRESENT DAY: 17:10:2017 

This was not long ago. But it feels like just yesterday when he went to be with The Lord. It’s crazy to think that someone who had such a huge part of your life can be gone in a second. 

It’s a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s the kind of heartache you feel in your bones. 
Is there a proper goodbye really? Just yesterday a friend slept and never woke up…No last words. Nothing. A very young person….so full of life!! 

We never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory~ dr. Seuss. 

THE NOW: 1527hours 



Why do we take life for granted? 

Why don’t we cherish it when we have good health? 

Why do we take for granted people who are placed in our lives? 

Why don’t we treat moments as if they’ll never come again? 

Give your all to what matters?

Do good?

Eat well?

Exercise?

Forgive? 

Move on?

Be in the now?

Our time is limited indeed.

Today is the perfect day to be happy!!!

Cherish it!!

  


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