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happiness

Tomorrow is Not a Guarantee…

23:05:2015
I’ve just taken a motorbike to the hospital to see Papa since it’s visiting hours. It’s some minutes past noon and I have to be there in good time. He has been in hospital for almost a month. He is suffering from Dementia, Hypertension and Diabetes and was just done a procedure to try see if it can help with the pressure wounds he had developed. 

The state I find him in is not very promising. He is on oxygen. How did this happen? “Complications of the surgery!” They said. He gives me this look. I can’t explain. I give him porridge. He eats abit. 

When the visiting hours are almost over, his condition deteriorates, he is gasping for more air. He is using his abdominal muscles now. As a medic, this is not a good sign. I help prop him some more. It helps only, but a little. 

They tell me to pray, I can’t find the words. I am crying now. So much is on my mind. I pray nonetheless. And wonder if this will be my last time to see what is left of his body…..with some life.  

I go on as difficult as it is and the call comes hours later from my brother that he had taken his last breath. Pronounced dead. 
He suffered. A lot. 
PRESENT DAY: 17:10:2017
This was not long ago. But it feels like just yesterday when he went to be with The Lord. It’s crazy to think that someone who had such a huge part of your life can be gone in a second. 
It’s a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s the kind of heartache you feel in your bones. 
Is there a proper goodbye really? Just yesterday a friend slept and never woke up…No last words. Nothing. A very young person….so full of life!! 
We never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory~ dr. Seuss. 

THE NOW: 1527hours 
Why do we take life for granted? 

Why don’t we cherish it when we have good health? 

Why do we take for granted people who are placed in our lives? 

Why don’t we treat moments as if they’ll never come again? 

Give your all to what matters?

Do good?

Eat well?

Exercise?

Forgive? 

Move on?
Be in the now?
Our time is limited indeed.
Today is the perfect day to be happy!!!
Cherish it!!

  


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To Forgive…

Somewhere along the way…in the journey that is life…on the graph of living, you find that as days present themselves, you can find yourself with so much inspiration or none at all…and not that it’s not really present but we fail to see it. You find that pressure takes over. And we let it!!
So on this particular day, I had my pen and my journal, and all I could do was stare at it, BLANK!! Which was ironic because the reason why I was in that moment was my rambling thoughts…to pour my heart out!!
But I had to focus…
So I managed to calm down my thoughts. You really can’t afford to disconnect from a moment of stillness once you achieve it, you don’t want the chaos in your mind to erupt!! 

I had to keep that calm and pen down something. 
Oooommmmm…
My thoughts brought me to FORGIVENESS. OWNING UP TO MY ACTIONS. LETTING GO AND PEACE….in that order really. 
(I was gaining my rhythm and was starting to feel more Centered)
I recently read that when you find that at some point life isn’t working, you have to look closely to see where you can forgive..Yourself, others, but mostly Yourself. And also to ask God to always forgive you. 
We all find ourselves in messes. I as many, are all victims of unforgiveness and not owning up to our actions.. We find it hard to be honest especially to ourselves. But to have peace, you really have to!!
Holding grudges is easy., But they have very damaging consequences….emotionally!!
We should be as quick to let go as small children are. Their conflict resolution is amazing. They don’t dwell on negativity. They’re quick to handle it there and then and move on. 
We can’t always be happy. That’s a given. But it’s a choice. It’s hard to forgive at times but it’s still achievable…because Peace is way cheaper than unforgiveness. Try to forgive, you don’t have to wait for an apology. If you want to be unhappy, hold onto anger. Don’t forgive. Pile up small issues…..etc
And as cool as you want to be, you are allowed to go thru all the motions. Cry. Wonder. Ask. Seek. 

Not all days are sunny, sometimes thunder is welcome. 
Stay on Purpose. Forgive. Let go. Be light. Give Light. Choose Peace. Be peace. 

  

Growing Older…

The month of May always has mixed emotions. It’s an exciting start as its my birthday and also so many of my friends celebrate their birthdays on this month. So we end up getting high on sugar and laughter and get togethers. So today I will focus on the good that comes with May.

Its exactly half past May…on a Monday…and as am having my lunch and tea, and having gained 4kgs in only 2weeks (ooops)…. I cant help but rejoice in the fact that being older ain’t that baaaad..lol…. even if my son doesn’t want to hear that am getting older…tihihihi.

When you’re surrounded by positive energy and also by beginning to trust your journey and God’s guidance, you can face life head on!

That’s exactly why its good to have a daily journal to jot down some things that you want to gain or have gained with every added day that you experience!

Here is mine:

  • reach new heights
  • be uplifting
  • be patient
  • enjoy the beauty around you
  • create your own music
  • stay active
  • enjoy nature
  • stand your ground
  • be strong
  • know when to slow down
  • if it itches, scratch it
  • live large
  • be clear
  • stay calm
  • be positive
  • make friends
  • reflect
  • be full of life
  • be free-spirited
  • carry your friends when they need it
  • aim at greatness
  • smile….

The list can be longer. The most important thing is to live for now.

As I age, I am Thankful for the journey, the lessons and the wisdom gained.

Cheers to many more!!!!

REMINDER: focus on what you can control in LIFE!!never-too-old

 

Acknowledge Yourself…

“Be a good person but don’t waste your time proving it…!”
That’s a fact!!!
Why do we waste out time proving who we are to people who least deserve it? I know for a fact that if someone doesn’t butter your bread or impact your life in any way, they don’t deserve any occupancy in your thoughts. So don’t rent it to them!!! Some people walk around thinking of ways to make some people notice just how good of a person they are… Or they truly want to share their world with that/those people. But why???
With time and as you age(lol), you learn that of all things (among many) that one can do….proving your worth is something you cannot do to some people. 
If you know you are doing things right,,,,treating people like they matter, giving the best version of yourself…then don’t wait for acknowledgment…so long as you’re happy being you…do it and don’t fret!!!
But if you are busy impressing people, then you’re in for a downfall….

Learn to acknowledge who you TRULY are….your worth….your ALL….look inside you….coz sometimes even a mirror hides…!!!
DON’T Sit and wait to be acknowledged and bore people with the need and want to be seen. Be rather invisible in this busy world….do what you can do and do it well.   
Walk away satisfied. 
Ofcos gratitude goes along way. When we are acknowledged we carry it with us and do far much greater things….
All in all, remember that you matter and especially to yourself. 
Be authentic!!!

  

  

The Here and Now….

Days fly by so fast. So so so fast. At times you can’t catch up. Other times you are at per…..In the moment….
You go through life expecting things to happen for you. Doing what everyone expect of you, tucking your happiness under your pillow when you make your bed in the morning on some days and on other days letting things go and focusing on the now. At times you don’t take charge of your life…You at times decide to just be…
I am 💯% responsible for my life. I am my choices. I am in charge. I just need to remember that. Always.
I could give me more credit for my talents and abilities. I could do with more belief in self and confidence. This is always a work in progress in all of us….
The weekend felt awesome and it proceeded to make Monday feel like an additional day in the weekend. You laugh so hard you wanna cry or you actually do. These moments don’t happen everyday but they happen. Special moments. Bonding with family and friends….
I only got one shot in life. This is it. It’s a great gift. I mean why should I not enjoy everything that it has to offer? We can’t turn back the hands of time and do things over again. Nope. You just can’t!!
You have to venture out. Into the unknown. With faith. Belief in self. Smiles. Laughter. Tears. Heartbreak. Highs. Lows. All of it. 
Just know how to react to the situations. 
Remember: God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds. Reminding us not to force anything…for things happen perfectly in time…
Stay Zen!!
  
 

Dear Diary (Part One)..

It’s always good to write down stuff as it’s a form of therapy. So I went ahead and looked up some of my entries of last year. Writing is indeed awesome. Try it. Thank me later.
Simple things in Life with Immense positive effects…


20/06/2016:
“Faced with awkward moments can stir you up in the wrong way…it can linger if you allow it…”

I wonder what was happening. But it was a cold day. Evidently, I did not let it freeze me or my thoughts. I warmed it up….warm Thoughts, a book and a Mocha…oh Yum!!!


23/06/2016
: I know that if I try to take on much, I can find a way to make excuses…so I make my daily goals Tiny..

Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the Bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it…
What a day that way huh!!?


25/06/2016:
Keep Learning and expanding. Life is a continuous learning experience. Take time to embrace the Surroundings. Be Thankful for what you have!!

Basically I was reminding myself of the simplicity of life (if we make it simple that is) and just being Thankful for life.

23/10/2016: Wow, I must have been writing  elsewhere. Lol  This Was quite a break!!

I quoted C. S. Lewis, “Friendship is necessary, Like Philosophy…like Art…it has no survival Value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival…..I hear you Lewis!!!

25/10/2016: Practice the art of being all there: give your time, touch, pat on the shoulder…be all there: give! give! give! Make effort!!!!

Uh huh…this was a heart to heart with myself. But basically, in the day to day living and interactions with people who matter you have to be all there!!


26/10/2016
: Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake You!”

How often do you write? Does it work for you?
It should!!! Really❗️

Lemmi just add a quote, “everything of Value has a Foundation!”

Quotable Quotes….

Do everything with a mind that lets go. Do not expect any praise or reward.

If you let go a little, you will have a LITTLE Peace.

If you let go a lot, you will have a LOT of peace.

If you let go completely, you will know COMPLETE peace and freedom.

Your struggles with the world will have come to an end….

~Ajahn Chah

life-1

The List….✨

I told myself to pick something random to do. Anything that will help in this journey of authenticity. So I took a book and wrote down three things that I want to carry into the year ahead…

To smile!
To Breathe!
To shake it off!

Reflections of the year gone by are oh so mighty….Oh boy what a year!!!It feels like a blink of an eye. Working too hard. So much to do. So little time. Too many emotions. Too many changes. Leaps. Dips. Bounds. The works… An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving for the year that has been is all I have….WHOA!!!

SMILE:Smiling moments have been many. But the moment that crowns it all is smiling because God has got my back no matter what. And many many tiny wow (in a good way) moments…engraved in my heart!!

BREATH: It’s inevitable at times…to find yourself holding your breath because you allow yourself to be consumed in what the tough and rough times offer….as it’s human and universal…take time and breath…just whoosa as much as you can. Through Disappointments…breathe! Through Expectations…breathe! Anger…..breath! Tiredness….breath!!

SHAKE IT OFF:You ever found yourself in a situation where so much is expected of you and you give it your all and somehow it’s never enough? Yeah, I know you know what am talking about…well, honey, don’t stress…just SHAKE IT OFF!! There is only so much we can possibly do. Situations, people, some days will always want more from you. Don’t kill yourself trying to fit in.SHAKE IT …….OOOF!!!

So I sat and looked at my list and thought how simple yet at times hard to do these things. Really!!! But I will carry this through.

As a human, given a plain white piece of paper with a single black dot placed randomly within the paper…we tend to focus on the black dot missing out on all the white and we just end up feeling stuck up, bitter…etc…

But life is an adventure….the real adventure is the life we share with the people we have along the way. The adventure of a lifetime is always right in front of us….it’s cleverly disguised as a familiar face.

There is always a million pick me ups along the journey. Let’s focus on the white. The positive vibes. The familiar faces that care. The moments that make your heart smile. Let the hard times shape and STRENGTHEN you, don’t let them bring you down.

SO SMILE. BREATHE. SHAKE IT OFF!!!

A brand new year AWAITS!!

WhoopWhoop😜!!

Music Heals….

…….”🎶…I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing

Roman cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can’t explain

I know St. Peter won’t call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world….🎶🎤….

Viva la Vida…Cold Play Baby….

This music mix was happening around mid-morning…

Friday. Friday….

I woke up feeling dusty, tired, my neck was aching, I could use a reason for feeling this way but I guess it’s just one of those mornings. You wish you were waking up to find yourself in a stay-cation somewhere. The sounds of birds, the river, the trees and their whispering…but reality check……work awaits darling!!!

So coincidentally, I had put aside my blue pants…so much for feeling blue huh???
I did not even exercise..I should have…Those endorphins would’ve done me good.

Went to the bus…logged into social media( I avoid this in the morning)…but was looking for a pick-me-up I guess…

My phone went off and I logged into the world of Nicholas Spark’s True Believer…still no Sparks!!!

Then I just closed my eyes and extended my sleep…😊👀!

I get to work and do my coffee ( what a miracle worker)…and listen to Ted Talks…(get into this habit)…it’s good for you!!

What did it though apart from a call from a friend and seeing a long lost friend was music. Oh Music…

…🎶…for some reason I can’t explain …🎶…

Soft rock mix!!

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. …” Bob Marley!!

The magic brought an upbeat to my walk. And my face lit. As I worked I bobbed my head and sang along.

As I write this, I don’t feel bad about my blue pants( blue is my favorite color after all), my mood is light and am not feeling dusty. I might have to do something about my neck but am okay. Am smiling and am shining. And the music playing on radio is just super super amazing.

Thanking God it’s Friday😜!!

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