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Reach Out Please…

As I bite into this sumptuous buttermilk biscuit I feel like I truly deserve to indulge some. I should also look for some ice cream with caramel or add a chocolate fudge cake. And I’m also craving a double latte. It’s one of those days. Where you feel things you don’t understand. 😀😀😀. 

Sugar rush aside…

I also mean to pour out my heart or maybe rant a bit…just a little bit😁😁

I might sound contradictory but understand That I am feeling things😜😜
I had a very long convo with my mother just the other day and we talked about so many things and about just how many people are in constant competition and comparison issues. That people can’t just be happy for other people. People gotta score. 

Allow me to tell a story: there’s a lady who was having it rough at her home. Typical relationshipp stress, work stress, parenting overload, emotions baggage etc. While she had her friends and siblings all in close proximity, most of them were so consumed in living that none was reaching out to each other and especially this specific sister. When she realized that any attempt to talk to a friend or sister or brother was slim to none she built walls so high, so much so that even when someone eventually decided to care, she decided to be ‘busy!’ She was in constant pain. Emotionally ….but now it was also physical. Disease was and had manifested in her body. ….And she was all ‘alone’. 

Before I continue: we all need that pat on the shoulder. Don’t be fooled if you meet me and I tell you that I don’t. 

Anyway,

One day all hell broke loose and she started vomiting blood. A lot of blood. One minute it’s the ER. The next it’s transfusion. The next kidneys are failing…..The next it’s ICU…..then tests revel waved raptured ulcers. Damn!!!!
The next…..she was gone!!!! At 43!!!

Two kids left behind. And a ‘husband!

“If you want the people you love to really feel loved, it’s essential to risk the awkwardness of asking them what their needs are!”

I can’t quite relate to her story but so many times it’s what most people go through. Stress and holding stuff in has made me have bed rest for days. That’s when I realized just how opening up can be therapeutic. Whoa!!!!

To me I’m a victim of bad communication. I’ve suffered. And it still surfaces. People are people. And life is a cycle. And while it’s very important to reach out. It’s also important to be sought after. Loose the ego. The pride. The selfish interest. The competition. Always rise above these. 

We are brought together by common values and interests. And so when you have people in your life it’s good to know what they’re all about. Just Incase something seems amiss, then you can reach out. 

It breaks my heart a lot when you try so much to reach out and the efforts go unnoticed. Life can be vicious..so just appreciate and reciprocate. 

But I’ve also learnt that it’s good to choose people who choose you. You go where you’re wanted not tolerated. As you go on your everyday life, reach out to someone. You never know. You might just be that hero who saves their life. 

I don’t think the sugar has helped much to my feelings, but just sharing has opened me up. And I’m feeling much better. 

Don’t let those people you say you love feel lonely. Disturb them😜

Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the change, be the difference, or be the inspiration. Shine your light as an example. The world needs more of that. 

Germany Kent. 

  

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Generosity Pays…

Morning Coffee Recipe:

Brew some coffee

Add some ginger 

Add some cinnamon 

Pour the above in your favorite mug

Sweeten with some honey

Let that aroma fill you up

Now sip slooooooooooowly….

Feel how that first sip fills your soul and elevates your mood…

Enjoy and better yet, make two mugs😜!
Everyday we are generously given twenty four hours to enjoy each moment and to be grateful for being here. How we get to start and live through each day is entirely up to us. 
As I sip on my awesome coffee, I can’t help but smile. It’s a cold day. It’s been generally cold for This month of August. So keeping warm is necessary. These are simple life’s pleasures.. So take time and feel each moment for what it is. 
Oh My!

Life has been sprinting…Literally!!!!

So much to do. So little time. But besides being on the grind, I am always grateful for being here and making a difference. 

There are so many situations that happen that make me appreciate the art of giving and being cheerful about it. This I am going to teach all my children( however many I will be blessed with)

When you give, you find yourself always happy. Well, unless you find those people along the path of life that make you turn into someone you’re not by taking advantage of your kindness over and over. 
It’s such a quiet morning and this is on purpose. I just wanted silence to blog this😜. There are those mornings that you just want comfortable silence around you. Just so you can reflect. 
So…about giving…(before I digress)..

The more good you do for the world, the better life goes. Giving has to come from the heart. You have to Actually care to give. 

Don’t wait to gain something. It’s a man eat man society as it is and people are looking for instant gratification. What’s in it for them is what they chase. This in turn has made relationships of all sorts loose the true meaning. 
There is magic in giving. True giving makes many things just get better and better. You can never lack if you’re a true giver. And if you’re unhappy as a giver then you’re not in alignment with who you are as a person and it’s not because of what anyone else is doing. 

Remember: what people do is because of them, NOT YOU!!

Jim Rohn: Nothing teaches character better than Generosity. 


Practicing generosity trains you to understand that you already have enough. I’m usually not one to ask for what I want or need (it happens when you go and grow in hardship) but it feels good to help others. But I realize that I’m depriving other people the joy that comes from helping others…so I’ll learn to ask🙊!
Sometimes I struggle in so many ways and things ( I’m still a work in progress..you know😊) and so when a kind gesture is thrown my way it can feel uncomfortable at times. I was reminded the other day that I don’t have to match other people’s generosity. It should come from a place of love. We as human beings like to complicate issues. 

Giving has a ripple effect….most people forget this fact. 
You welcome lots of blessings. The more you give the more you find joy in it. Do all the good you can by all means you can, in all ways you can, in all places you can, in all times you can, to all people you can, as long as ever you can. 
You’re going to find people who’re going to just take and take advantage of your generosity and it can make your energy wane. There are these people in life and there is nothing we can do about them. They enjoy being mean. Don’t let that turn you into them. Resist!
So give from a place of love and enjoy it!!!
  
 

Warm Thoughts…

6:45pm Dark is fast approaching, traffic is heavy, muscles almost feel sore for fighting to keep me warm, I’m bundled up. The layers somehow make me heavier but warm. 

There’s a deep crave for very hot chocolate and warm buttermilk biscuits. I am fatigued and in dire need of some time off. 

I feel like I’m programmed only that my battery is low. So low. 
The thing about all work and no play is making you put so many things on hold. Time comes when you want to just hang your gloves and stop the fight…but the bell doesn’t ring…the fight goes on and on. Life presents you with so many hard knocks…..but you have to just get back up and fight….
But, I am thinking warm thoughts and so I’m hoping Mother Nature can think warmly too and smile some. And soon. 
And so, it’s a wake up call to take some much needed rest. I strongly suggest. Change the environment you’re in if only for three days. Stretch those sore muscles. Breathe out. Get back up and knock out negativity. You have purpose. Let it drive you. To sunshiny thoughts. To victory. To rest your mind and to feed your soul. To recharge your batteries. To know that sometimes the winds of change take us to better places. 
It’s worth it. 

You’re worth it. 

I’m worth it!!
Ps: stand close to people who feel like sunshine. It makes the journey in life easy😊☀️☀️

  

Rambling Thoughts…

  
“Thank you Lord. For today. For the Universe. For family. For food. For school. For teachers…….” A. M. E. N.  
Simple. Genuine. Precise. Leaves you Misty eyed. It’s a simple prayer of a seven-year-old boy…..Night after night mostly we sit by his bedside and pray together and I’m always wowed awed and moved. 

While my prayer is much more detailed sometimes it’s coupled with that days worries and burdens and let-downs…and it shouldn’t. But my human self let’s it!!
Sometimes you have to play the cards you’re dealt. Extraordinary Hardships….will always be there!!
Nothing can prepare us for the adversity life can throw at us. 

Day by Day…we all go through so much and we always grow through it. We all have stories that put our lives into perspective. We should not compare and compete. Instead we should learn from these experiences and get inspired. 
Being older means yes, you have learnt a lot through and through but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open to more lessons, insights and growth. 
Not all classrooms have four walls. Lessons in life are from everywhere and everyone. All the darn time. If you’re not keen enough so many things can pass you by. 
The simple prayer from a child can change your perspective and approach to life. 
A simple idea from a 20 year old to a 60 year old can be eye opening. 
A single person can give a life-changing advice to a married person. 
Are we willing to learn and to keep an open mind?
Be resilient. 
Be uncomfortable at times ( paying attention to your emotions for emotions are meant to be felt not suppressed).
Rewrite your story. Be authentic. Share that story. You’ll realize that when you open up you’ll know people for who they are…!
See the world as it is….ha!!
Be your own superhero. 
Be creative. Improvise where you can. 
Focus on what you have. Don’t wait….
Find your purpose…based on your values. 
Have one person to cheer you on. Be with people who make you think. 
Above all leave your burdens to God. He ALWAYS ALWAYS comes through. 
Pray. 
Believe!!!

PS: (23:05:2015….it’s been three years since Papa passed away. It still feels like yesterday. We miss him dearly and we know he is always smiling down on us)

  

So Smile…

It’s Friday, It’s been raining( a welcome change from the heat wave that was threatening), I sprinted up from bed 11 minutes late. 5:11am to be exact. But I managed to say a thank you to the Most High. God you’re good to me😊. 
Brushing my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror…long and hard and I smiled. A very complicated smile…built on many layers…
First it was the smile of Gratitude. For Life and lessons learnt. Hard way and easy way. 
Then it was a smile for the Zest that I have to face today. And after being sick, I mean why not smile? I am feeling like a Superstar. 
Then it was a smile of pride, for my son. He was brave enough to pull out his own tooth that we were fighting about😂💪. He could not believe it after he did it… It was on a 1,2,3….pull out count. Kudos son😘!
Then it was a smile of overcoming! You wake up, idiots happen and you manage to overcome nonsense😁! Dalai Lama says, “Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace!” So whoooosa😋!

And the amazing thing about being grown up is that time passes by so quickly. 
Then it was a smile for trust. I’m Learning to trust my journey. I’m loving my energy. 2018 bring it on😋!
Then it was the smile that the person always looking back when I look at the mirror is one that deserves all the good things. I mean, why the hell not??
And so I decided to wear jeans, a light sweater and my Converse shoes. Light and free. Because that’s what smiling does….
Especially if you appreciate all that God has given to you and appreciating yourself. 
Ps: Basically what we see depends on what we are looking for. Look for Joy. Be Joy. 
You’re Lucky. 
I am Lucky. 
So smile😊!
  

You Matter…

“Treat people like mirrors & watch how you reflect in their eyes…!”
A sweet lady I know just sent me this text as I was getting myself ready to scratch this writing itch that has persisted. I journal everyday alright, but that’s different…
This is to tell you that God is Timely, Never doubt that people! I needed that text today…
Monday was a drag! To say the least. But I survived it. That’s why I wanted this therapy. Writing is my Escape. 
Today holds a better promise plus I’m feeling amazing. I am oozing positivity. So let’s indulge in it!
Instead of focusing on making ends meet, which is okay. Let’s live. Now! 
Here is how I am doing it: 
1: Pauline Don’t rush

I am focused on not trying to tackle everything at once. One thing at a time. One emotion at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. To Breathe!
2: Put off/ brush off Negativity 

I am an ambassador of this one. Ha! ha! Someone made me so mad the other day, I was shaking with fury. Literally shaking…Lord have Mercy! I decided consciously to move away from that moment, from that environment and literally sort some air, to breathe…this helped a lot. And while I’m yet to attend to that party..one that I have to sort…I choose to not dwell on it. Quiet time is mandatory to sort through your emotions. Whether they’re raging or not. 
3: Get emotions out

At times life takes you to breaking points. You wanna scream, cry, beat your chest, call out profanities.. It helps. 

Sort through the emotions I say. Handle the emotions nonetheless. Don’t shy away. 

Get in lots of positive vibes. The negative won’t have room. 
4: My Value… My Worth

How much are you worth? Ha! Ha!

Rate yourself as high as you can. I am and I try to be authentic( it’s a lifelong journey), nourish yourself, feed your soul with all the good stuff, trust your journey, be fab. You matter.
5: Just one Me: 

I am becoming the best version of who I am meant to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. But I want more money( 💯✔️😹😹). I am more wholistic in my approach to life. I cherish what I have in the present moment. I am lucky. I realized that my enjoyment of something doubles if I realize just how lucky I am to have it. So cheers to Life. Cheers Pauline. 
6: The Good

Ha!

When you get somethings right, you enjoy so many aspects of life….God. Love. Motherhood. Family. Work. The positive power of Friendships. Food. Etc
I still need more of Sand in my feet and wine in my hands. Vacation. Vacation. 
7: Goals

My goal today is to take yesterday to another level and tomorrow to soar high. But to ultimately sparkle today….go Higher, be better, be more positive, have lots of fun!
8: Quality/ Quantity

The Quality of moments lived is awesome when you maximize on them. No matter how much time you’ve got. Be meaningful. Connect with your moment. 
And so I am smiling because I am feeling good. My itch is scratched. My coffee needs a refill, but I am content. My heart is feeling settled. It’s beating for it’s purpose. I am alive in this moment. I am thankful. 
Ps: You are powerful, prove it to yourself. 😊

  

Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script 😂😂💦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

To Forgive…

Somewhere along the way…in the journey that is life…on the graph of living, you find that as days present themselves, you can find yourself with so much inspiration or none at all…and not that it’s not really present but we fail to see it. You find that pressure takes over. And we let it!!
So on this particular day, I had my pen and my journal, and all I could do was stare at it, BLANK!! Which was ironic because the reason why I was in that moment was my rambling thoughts…to pour my heart out!!
But I had to focus…
So I managed to calm down my thoughts. You really can’t afford to disconnect from a moment of stillness once you achieve it, you don’t want the chaos in your mind to erupt!! 

I had to keep that calm and pen down something. 
Oooommmmm…
My thoughts brought me to FORGIVENESS. OWNING UP TO MY ACTIONS. LETTING GO AND PEACE….in that order really. 
(I was gaining my rhythm and was starting to feel more Centered)
I recently read that when you find that at some point life isn’t working, you have to look closely to see where you can forgive..Yourself, others, but mostly Yourself. And also to ask God to always forgive you. 
We all find ourselves in messes. I as many, are all victims of unforgiveness and not owning up to our actions.. We find it hard to be honest especially to ourselves. But to have peace, you really have to!!
Holding grudges is easy., But they have very damaging consequences….emotionally!!
We should be as quick to let go as small children are. Their conflict resolution is amazing. They don’t dwell on negativity. They’re quick to handle it there and then and move on. 
We can’t always be happy. That’s a given. But it’s a choice. It’s hard to forgive at times but it’s still achievable…because Peace is way cheaper than unforgiveness. Try to forgive, you don’t have to wait for an apology. If you want to be unhappy, hold onto anger. Don’t forgive. Pile up small issues…..etc
And as cool as you want to be, you are allowed to go thru all the motions. Cry. Wonder. Ask. Seek. 

Not all days are sunny, sometimes thunder is welcome. 
Stay on Purpose. Forgive. Let go. Be light. Give Light. Choose Peace. Be peace. 

  

Remembering Papa..

  
Minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into months, months into years….two to be exact since wings were officially fixed on you and you found your way to heaven and now dancing with the other angels. It’s never easy at all, it never has been and it never will. I wish we are prepped long before when someone leaves just how to live without them. Maybe it will make it easy. 

As we go on day after day, we cherish the memories and enjoy the time God gave us with you. I keep thinking about you even if it pains…..

There are so many things that we need you to see. Words are inadequate…..

Dad….How ironic is it that people waste moments not listening to or paying much attention to people when they are alive?… But when they are not there, We live yearning for those moments? Life is Tricky at times. 

Hard lessons are instilled into us..that you should cherish people who matter in your life. To Find time….Not excuses!!

I want to assure you that in as much as life has it’s twists and turns, we are trying our level best in our èndevours. 

In The curve balls that life throws at us, we put our trust in God and somehow we pull through. 

My consolation is that I always know that you are smiling down on us. 

And as we continue to celebrate your life, we Thank God that He made you for us. 


Dance Papa. Dance. 

  

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