Search

mutwoki's Blog

A topnotch WordPress.com site

Category

life

Tomorrow is Not a Guarantee…

23:05:2015
I’ve just taken a motorbike to the hospital to see Papa since it’s visiting hours. It’s some minutes past noon and I have to be there in good time. He has been in hospital for almost a month. He is suffering from Dementia, Hypertension and Diabetes and was just done a procedure to try see if it can help with the pressure wounds he had developed. 

The state I find him in is not very promising. He is on oxygen. How did this happen? “Complications of the surgery!” They said. He gives me this look. I can’t explain. I give him porridge. He eats abit. 

When the visiting hours are almost over, his condition deteriorates, he is gasping for more air. He is using his abdominal muscles now. As a medic, this is not a good sign. I help prop him some more. It helps only, but a little. 

They tell me to pray, I can’t find the words. I am crying now. So much is on my mind. I pray nonetheless. And wonder if this will be my last time to see what is left of his body…..with some life.  

I go on as difficult as it is and the call comes hours later from my brother that he had taken his last breath. Pronounced dead. 
He suffered. A lot. 
PRESENT DAY: 17:10:2017
This was not long ago. But it feels like just yesterday when he went to be with The Lord. It’s crazy to think that someone who had such a huge part of your life can be gone in a second. 
It’s a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s the kind of heartache you feel in your bones. 
Is there a proper goodbye really? Just yesterday a friend slept and never woke up…No last words. Nothing. A very young person….so full of life!! 
We never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory~ dr. Seuss. 

THE NOW: 1527hours 
Why do we take life for granted? 

Why don’t we cherish it when we have good health? 

Why do we take for granted people who are placed in our lives? 

Why don’t we treat moments as if they’ll never come again? 

Give your all to what matters?

Do good?

Eat well?

Exercise?

Forgive? 

Move on?
Be in the now?
Our time is limited indeed.
Today is the perfect day to be happy!!!
Cherish it!!

  


Advertisements

Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script 😂😂💦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

To Forgive…

Somewhere along the way…in the journey that is life…on the graph of living, you find that as days present themselves, you can find yourself with so much inspiration or none at all…and not that it’s not really present but we fail to see it. You find that pressure takes over. And we let it!!
So on this particular day, I had my pen and my journal, and all I could do was stare at it, BLANK!! Which was ironic because the reason why I was in that moment was my rambling thoughts…to pour my heart out!!
But I had to focus…
So I managed to calm down my thoughts. You really can’t afford to disconnect from a moment of stillness once you achieve it, you don’t want the chaos in your mind to erupt!! 

I had to keep that calm and pen down something. 
Oooommmmm…
My thoughts brought me to FORGIVENESS. OWNING UP TO MY ACTIONS. LETTING GO AND PEACE….in that order really. 
(I was gaining my rhythm and was starting to feel more Centered)
I recently read that when you find that at some point life isn’t working, you have to look closely to see where you can forgive..Yourself, others, but mostly Yourself. And also to ask God to always forgive you. 
We all find ourselves in messes. I as many, are all victims of unforgiveness and not owning up to our actions.. We find it hard to be honest especially to ourselves. But to have peace, you really have to!!
Holding grudges is easy., But they have very damaging consequences….emotionally!!
We should be as quick to let go as small children are. Their conflict resolution is amazing. They don’t dwell on negativity. They’re quick to handle it there and then and move on. 
We can’t always be happy. That’s a given. But it’s a choice. It’s hard to forgive at times but it’s still achievable…because Peace is way cheaper than unforgiveness. Try to forgive, you don’t have to wait for an apology. If you want to be unhappy, hold onto anger. Don’t forgive. Pile up small issues…..etc
And as cool as you want to be, you are allowed to go thru all the motions. Cry. Wonder. Ask. Seek. 

Not all days are sunny, sometimes thunder is welcome. 
Stay on Purpose. Forgive. Let go. Be light. Give Light. Choose Peace. Be peace. 

  

Through the Motions…

As others are soaking in the sun and enjoying their summer season, I was looking for sunshine and found it in a double caramel macchiato and carrot cake…the weather has been chilly lately. I really don’t mind it though…the cold weather that is….so I checked into a Cafè for some much needed coffee fix and just to chill and gaze at people and read and just be…

The past few months have been crazy, too much to be done,..going through the motions, the highs, the lows…all these not new to anyone really… But, as usual I’ve come to learn so much. You just have to learn. There is no other way. Life is that way. Not sometimes…. But all the TIME!!


I’ve come to find fulfillment in simple things. That being a minimalist is so much better. That giving is far much better than receiving. That actions will always speak louder than words….That words are only words unless acted upon…

That you give energy to what impacts you positively..

That moving on with life is okay. You don’t need to be stuck up!

That people aren’t what they seem to be and that’s also okay!

That there’s no need to hold on to what you can’t control!

That you can manage your anger when life upsets you…just Whooooosa😜!!

That planning ahead pays up big time!

That dreams do come true!


For me it’s an enlightment as I grow older. Day by day, moment by moment, there’s always a reminder that life is precious. We’re here only once. 


Be thankful for life. For peace of mind. Provision. Shelter. Clean water. Clothing. Food. Families. Friends. Laughter. And the list in endless..


And if things are so hard you just can’t stand them…just kneel….PRAY!!


As I sip on my mug of sunshine and eat my cake…I am just thankful for this moment!!!

  

Remembering Papa..

  
Minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into months, months into years….two to be exact since wings were officially fixed on you and you found your way to heaven and now dancing with the other angels. It’s never easy at all, it never has been and it never will. I wish we are prepped long before when someone leaves just how to live without them. Maybe it will make it easy. 

As we go on day after day, we cherish the memories and enjoy the time God gave us with you. I keep thinking about you even if it pains…..

There are so many things that we need you to see. Words are inadequate…..

Dad….How ironic is it that people waste moments not listening to or paying much attention to people when they are alive?… But when they are not there, We live yearning for those moments? Life is Tricky at times. 

Hard lessons are instilled into us..that you should cherish people who matter in your life. To Find time….Not excuses!!

I want to assure you that in as much as life has it’s twists and turns, we are trying our level best in our èndevours. 

In The curve balls that life throws at us, we put our trust in God and somehow we pull through. 

My consolation is that I always know that you are smiling down on us. 

And as we continue to celebrate your life, we Thank God that He made you for us. 


Dance Papa. Dance. 

  

Growing Older…

The month of May always has mixed emotions. It’s an exciting start as its my birthday and also so many of my friends celebrate their birthdays on this month. So we end up getting high on sugar and laughter and get togethers. So today I will focus on the good that comes with May.

Its exactly half past May…on a Monday…and as am having my lunch and tea, and having gained 4kgs in only 2weeks (ooops)…. I cant help but rejoice in the fact that being older ain’t that baaaad..lol…. even if my son doesn’t want to hear that am getting older…tihihihi.

When you’re surrounded by positive energy and also by beginning to trust your journey and God’s guidance, you can face life head on!

That’s exactly why its good to have a daily journal to jot down some things that you want to gain or have gained with every added day that you experience!

Here is mine:

  • reach new heights
  • be uplifting
  • be patient
  • enjoy the beauty around you
  • create your own music
  • stay active
  • enjoy nature
  • stand your ground
  • be strong
  • know when to slow down
  • if it itches, scratch it
  • live large
  • be clear
  • stay calm
  • be positive
  • make friends
  • reflect
  • be full of life
  • be free-spirited
  • carry your friends when they need it
  • aim at greatness
  • smile….

The list can be longer. The most important thing is to live for now.

As I age, I am Thankful for the journey, the lessons and the wisdom gained.

Cheers to many more!!!!

REMINDER: focus on what you can control in LIFE!!never-too-old

 

Acknowledge Yourself…

“Be a good person but don’t waste your time proving it…!”
That’s a fact!!!
Why do we waste out time proving who we are to people who least deserve it? I know for a fact that if someone doesn’t butter your bread or impact your life in any way, they don’t deserve any occupancy in your thoughts. So don’t rent it to them!!! Some people walk around thinking of ways to make some people notice just how good of a person they are… Or they truly want to share their world with that/those people. But why???
With time and as you age(lol), you learn that of all things (among many) that one can do….proving your worth is something you cannot do to some people. 
If you know you are doing things right,,,,treating people like they matter, giving the best version of yourself…then don’t wait for acknowledgment…so long as you’re happy being you…do it and don’t fret!!!
But if you are busy impressing people, then you’re in for a downfall….

Learn to acknowledge who you TRULY are….your worth….your ALL….look inside you….coz sometimes even a mirror hides…!!!
DON’T Sit and wait to be acknowledged and bore people with the need and want to be seen. Be rather invisible in this busy world….do what you can do and do it well.   
Walk away satisfied. 
Ofcos gratitude goes along way. When we are acknowledged we carry it with us and do far much greater things….
All in all, remember that you matter and especially to yourself. 
Be authentic!!!

  

  

The Here and Now….

Days fly by so fast. So so so fast. At times you can’t catch up. Other times you are at per…..In the moment….
You go through life expecting things to happen for you. Doing what everyone expect of you, tucking your happiness under your pillow when you make your bed in the morning on some days and on other days letting things go and focusing on the now. At times you don’t take charge of your life…You at times decide to just be…
I am 💯% responsible for my life. I am my choices. I am in charge. I just need to remember that. Always.
I could give me more credit for my talents and abilities. I could do with more belief in self and confidence. This is always a work in progress in all of us….
The weekend felt awesome and it proceeded to make Monday feel like an additional day in the weekend. You laugh so hard you wanna cry or you actually do. These moments don’t happen everyday but they happen. Special moments. Bonding with family and friends….
I only got one shot in life. This is it. It’s a great gift. I mean why should I not enjoy everything that it has to offer? We can’t turn back the hands of time and do things over again. Nope. You just can’t!!
You have to venture out. Into the unknown. With faith. Belief in self. Smiles. Laughter. Tears. Heartbreak. Highs. Lows. All of it. 
Just know how to react to the situations. 
Remember: God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds. Reminding us not to force anything…for things happen perfectly in time…
Stay Zen!!
  
 

Wisdom Galore…

I don’t take for granted all the wisdom and inspiration I get from some of the people I meet in life. While others call you names and talk ill of you, others are there to encourage you and urge you on.

With permission from one of my elderly friends, lemmi talk about why we should not sit and whine…

She is turning 75 very soon and she is as active as a 30 year old. She does what many people won’t do even in their 20’s.

She drives very long distances, she has a beautiful garden with all these wonderful herbs and vegetables (she waters her garden). She does field work as well as office work.

In all the years I have known her, she has broken her back thrice, her ankle, her wrist, shoulder and knee surgeries. (How can one body take all that?). I ask her how she does it. We laugh about it so much. Then recently she was told she had cancer of the stomach, it broke my heart but then after tests and a major surgery to remove part of her stomach, she was told it would not spread….whoop whoop!!!!

All this time, she was doing volunteer canceling at the hospital and also some beautiful embroidery.

When she was discharged she was up and about and back to what she does best….HELPING PEOPLE….CHEERFULLY!!

When she speaks, I listen and listen….
…So I told her she needs to encourage all the young people who give up after they face challenges….She does it (encouragement) so easily. One thing she encouraged me to always do is to PRAY. To Do what I can with the time that I have been given. 🙆
Honestly, she oozes wisdom and just by looking at her you can be challenged to up your game. She always walks fast and when she is walking slowly, she is in quiet mode in prayer.

Lessons learnt:

1. draw my inspiration from people who take time to also value others and themselves.

2: Age is not a limit. You are your own limit.

3: Enjoy what you do!!

4: Friendship is not about age. It’s about those people who tag your heart in a good way.

5: Laughter is indeed medicine. Trust me!!

6: Exercise by reaching out to help those around you.

I am rich in my heart. I look forward to draw wisdom from the experiences I encounter and people I meet and places I go to and from the days as they come.

Stay Wise😎!!

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: