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Life is For Living…

Nine days ago was my last journal update( I know I know….it’s a long time)…

I wrote, “listen to yourself….the voice that’s in your heart and not your head; it’ll lead you to your goal!”What was I going through?? 😎😎
What can I say….? It’s been a roller-coaster of events and emotions…as usual. It’s amazing how times pan out sometimes…WHOA!!
The mind is a battlefield indeed!!!
We lost a workmate due to a short illness and that really weighed down on us big-time. It was an emotional time to be honest and one that deeply engraved into us the true meaning on living in the moment. Life is indeed for living. May you dance with the angels buddy. 

So I sit and sip on my green tea and reflect on the days gone by and also on the lessons that come with everyday. 

I’ve been having fatigue. Physically. Emotionally. Whateverly…I mean really! I was actually looking for possible vacation locations just Incase… ( it’s good to be optimistic..it’s the thought that counts right?)..I have to make it happen sooner…
I realized that life like I said can pan out in interesting ways:-
1) Confusion: you become confused about your direction and focus as a human being. As it happens confusion can be a strong point in life….for it’s where you get to learn new things. It’s not easy but I’ve learnt to embrace confusion when it happens. You learn about people and situations better. Your eyes are opened. Ps: you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. 
2) Brokenness: this is part of life. There are many things that break us,..but despite it all realize that it comes with healing. It’s never permanent. You learn to heal through music, art, friendships, getaways….
3) Frustration: when you’re frustrated you learn to make authentic decisions. Oh boy! This one is major. So many things can frustrate you. Grrrrrr (breathing in and out)! Lemmi not focus on it today. This tea is calming…Ps: you know you’re on the right track because things stop being easy!!

4) Sadness: oh this month has a fair share of sad moments😿😿😿😿😞. But it’s during this time that you can hear your heart’s wisdom. Do not suppress this emotion at all. Cry if you have to but live through it. Ps: weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.


5) Joy: this is to be experienced almost everyday. There are so many reasons to. Especially when you sit and realize that you’re here. Now. In this very moment. Healthy. Fed. Clothed. Be joyous at all times. 
I’m listening to Jazz. I’m calm. I’m feeling great. I never want to hide from my emotions. I used to but I’ve met people who have taught me not to suppress things. Even if you are stark raving mad. 
Life is for living. Be brave. Be authentic. Be ready. You’re worthy. Always!!!

Ps: when you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better~ Solange!!



  

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Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’¦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

What are you Thankful For…?

…..’Cause I’d get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread
(Thread, thread…)….

OwlCity was rocking on radio and my Mind had been fixated on my yester-night.

What are you grateful for?

After our bedtime routine of snacking (more for my Son than I…Lol), brushing our teeth and stories….and before our usual prayer, I asked my him what he was thankful for…for that day…

His answer amazed me.

He said:

  • I am thankful for Prayers because he loves to Pray
  • I am thankful for my teacher
  • I am thankful that he was a good boy in school…lol
  • I am thankful for food
  • I am thankful that I played in the swings today….

Notice the simplicity of the things he is grateful for. It humbled me a hundred fold.

OH! How Cute!!!

He asked me what i was Thankful for and for me its a whole lot…

  • For my life
  • For health
  • For motherhood
  • For friendships
  • For food and water
  • For my job
  • For Peace of mind
  • For music like Fireflies which calms your soul….

Then he said, ‘I am thankful for all that too…lol!’

There is something about spending time with a child that humbles you. REALLY!

It’s in the simple moments, simple Simple priceless moments!

What are you Thankful for? REALLY?

However small?

So we bowed down to pray our usual prayer…

“God in Heaven, Hear My Prayer, Keep me in Thy loving Care, Be my guide in all I do and Bless all those who love me too…”

AMEN…..and AMEN!!

thankful.png

 

 

 

Music Heals….

…….”🎢…I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing

Roman cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can’t explain

I know St. Peter won’t call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world….🎢🎀….

Viva la Vida…Cold Play Baby….

This music mix was happening around mid-morning…

Friday. Friday….

I woke up feeling dusty, tired, my neck was aching, I could use a reason for feeling this way but I guess it’s just one of those mornings. You wish you were waking up to find yourself in a stay-cation somewhere. The sounds of birds, the river, the trees and their whispering…but reality check……work awaits darling!!!

So coincidentally, I had put aside my blue pants…so much for feeling blue huh???
I did not even exercise..I should have…Those endorphins would’ve done me good.

Went to the bus…logged into social media( I avoid this in the morning)…but was looking for a pick-me-up I guess…

My phone went off and I logged into the world of Nicholas Spark’s True Believer…still no Sparks!!!

Then I just closed my eyes and extended my sleep…πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘€!

I get to work and do my coffee ( what a miracle worker)…and listen to Ted Talks…(get into this habit)…it’s good for you!!

What did it though apart from a call from a friend and seeing a long lost friend was music. Oh Music…

…🎢…for some reason I can’t explain …🎢…

Soft rock mix!!

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. …” Bob Marley!!

The magic brought an upbeat to my walk. And my face lit. As I worked I bobbed my head and sang along.

As I write this, I don’t feel bad about my blue pants( blue is my favorite color after all), my mood is light and am not feeling dusty. I might have to do something about my neck but am okay. Am smiling and am shining. And the music playing on radio is just super super amazing.

Thanking God it’s Friday😜!!

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