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Travel..Explore…

Travel. Learn. Grow. 
What you learn as you go on in life will last longer than what you own….Owning is an illusion…
The journey that is life is such like taking a very long road trip. 

  

This past weekend was adventure filled to say the least. There are so many words to describe it but all I can say is it was PERFECT! 

  

Kenya is a wonderful place to be. I love my country. 

  
Just like life, the road isn’t always smooth. We went through lots of good roads and so many breathtaking sceneries. Let’s just say we took the scenic view..☺️!
But also as there are many good roads, we also had very rough and bumpy roads. Which was welcome too as we went deep into and through the forests. And in such we got to maximize and enjoy and take in all the beauty along the trip. 

Life is like that. 
I wouldn’t personally grow if all the roads in my journey in life were smooth. The tough times I have had and all the challenges I thought I wouldn’t live through shaped me into the woman I am today. I am still growing. The roads can be tough at times and I feel like I cannot move ahead but then I’m reminded that a scenic view is waiting for me to behold and so I fluff my feathers and move along. 
Get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everyday is a gift. Never treat any moment casually. 
As you travel, your eyes are open. You don’t want any moment to pass you by. You breath in clean air. You take in so much beauty. You’re sun-kissed. You enjoy the rain. You feel the warm wind on your skin. Oh my!
A mind stretched by new experiences can NEVER go back to it’s old dimensions. 
Life is full of adventure. 
Travel and be proud of the journey!!

  

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Time Out…

  

“You were not born to pay bills and die!”




I can’t tell you how many times this phrase gets to me. I’m sure I can’t be the only one. At times it feels like it’s like so!! 

We work! Work! Work! Work!
A good friend of mine once asked me along time ago how I fit anything social into my life! It was a true genuine concern which actually saddened that moment…. I actually do…otherwise I would go mad…I said😂😂

Everyone needs time out.

 To re-focus. 

To breathe.

 To be centered. 
I work very hard. That’s a fact. Two jobs. There’s a job after my regular job. But I don’t mind. There are people with no jobs!!

 And there are many people who do the same. Work! Work! Work! I love my job. Helping people who are in pain get better is fulfilling to say the least. I am thankful. Being thankful goes a long way. At least I know it works for me. It’s important that people be thanked for what they do. It really is. Otherwise they might never know how much they’re appreciated. 

The world is ever changing. People have to make ends meet. But also finding a correct balance at times becomes a challenge. Times moves so fast!!
Then you have to have a circle that makes sure you’re grounded. That you don’t have to break when you do these things. When you adult. People who are willing to remind you that it’s okay to take time out and regroup. People who are willing to listen to your troubles and actually understand why you work so hard. People who remind you that asking for help is not being weak. People who don’t judge you in whatever way. 
It’s 9:12am on a somewhat cold-ish Friday. It’s been a tough week of fighting a throat infection and crazy traffic jam. But I’m feeling super energetic and light. 

Life is tough. 

Life is beautiful. 

It’s even better when we take time out every so often. 
Work hard. But live life!!
Life is for living.

 Not for enduring!

  

So Smile…

It’s Friday, It’s been raining( a welcome change from the heat wave that was threatening), I sprinted up from bed 11 minutes late. 5:11am to be exact. But I managed to say a thank you to the Most High. God you’re good to me😊. 
Brushing my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror…long and hard and I smiled. A very complicated smile…built on many layers…
First it was the smile of Gratitude. For Life and lessons learnt. Hard way and easy way. 
Then it was a smile for the Zest that I have to face today. And after being sick, I mean why not smile? I am feeling like a Superstar. 
Then it was a smile of pride, for my son. He was brave enough to pull out his own tooth that we were fighting about😂💪. He could not believe it after he did it… It was on a 1,2,3….pull out count. Kudos son😘!
Then it was a smile of overcoming! You wake up, idiots happen and you manage to overcome nonsense😁! Dalai Lama says, “Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace!” So whoooosa😋!

And the amazing thing about being grown up is that time passes by so quickly. 
Then it was a smile for trust. I’m Learning to trust my journey. I’m loving my energy. 2018 bring it on😋!
Then it was the smile that the person always looking back when I look at the mirror is one that deserves all the good things. I mean, why the hell not??
And so I decided to wear jeans, a light sweater and my Converse shoes. Light and free. Because that’s what smiling does….
Especially if you appreciate all that God has given to you and appreciating yourself. 
Ps: Basically what we see depends on what we are looking for. Look for Joy. Be Joy. 
You’re Lucky. 
I am Lucky. 
So smile😊!
  

You Matter…

“Treat people like mirrors & watch how you reflect in their eyes…!”
A sweet lady I know just sent me this text as I was getting myself ready to scratch this writing itch that has persisted. I journal everyday alright, but that’s different…
This is to tell you that God is Timely, Never doubt that people! I needed that text today…
Monday was a drag! To say the least. But I survived it. That’s why I wanted this therapy. Writing is my Escape. 
Today holds a better promise plus I’m feeling amazing. I am oozing positivity. So let’s indulge in it!
Instead of focusing on making ends meet, which is okay. Let’s live. Now! 
Here is how I am doing it: 
1: Pauline Don’t rush

I am focused on not trying to tackle everything at once. One thing at a time. One emotion at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. To Breathe!
2: Put off/ brush off Negativity 

I am an ambassador of this one. Ha! ha! Someone made me so mad the other day, I was shaking with fury. Literally shaking…Lord have Mercy! I decided consciously to move away from that moment, from that environment and literally sort some air, to breathe…this helped a lot. And while I’m yet to attend to that party..one that I have to sort…I choose to not dwell on it. Quiet time is mandatory to sort through your emotions. Whether they’re raging or not. 
3: Get emotions out

At times life takes you to breaking points. You wanna scream, cry, beat your chest, call out profanities.. It helps. 

Sort through the emotions I say. Handle the emotions nonetheless. Don’t shy away. 

Get in lots of positive vibes. The negative won’t have room. 
4: My Value… My Worth

How much are you worth? Ha! Ha!

Rate yourself as high as you can. I am and I try to be authentic( it’s a lifelong journey), nourish yourself, feed your soul with all the good stuff, trust your journey, be fab. You matter.
5: Just one Me: 

I am becoming the best version of who I am meant to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. But I want more money( 💯✔️😹😹). I am more wholistic in my approach to life. I cherish what I have in the present moment. I am lucky. I realized that my enjoyment of something doubles if I realize just how lucky I am to have it. So cheers to Life. Cheers Pauline. 
6: The Good

Ha!

When you get somethings right, you enjoy so many aspects of life….God. Love. Motherhood. Family. Work. The positive power of Friendships. Food. Etc
I still need more of Sand in my feet and wine in my hands. Vacation. Vacation. 
7: Goals

My goal today is to take yesterday to another level and tomorrow to soar high. But to ultimately sparkle today….go Higher, be better, be more positive, have lots of fun!
8: Quality/ Quantity

The Quality of moments lived is awesome when you maximize on them. No matter how much time you’ve got. Be meaningful. Connect with your moment. 
And so I am smiling because I am feeling good. My itch is scratched. My coffee needs a refill, but I am content. My heart is feeling settled. It’s beating for it’s purpose. I am alive in this moment. I am thankful. 
Ps: You are powerful, prove it to yourself. 😊

  

Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script 😂😂💦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

To Forgive…

Somewhere along the way…in the journey that is life…on the graph of living, you find that as days present themselves, you can find yourself with so much inspiration or none at all…and not that it’s not really present but we fail to see it. You find that pressure takes over. And we let it!!
So on this particular day, I had my pen and my journal, and all I could do was stare at it, BLANK!! Which was ironic because the reason why I was in that moment was my rambling thoughts…to pour my heart out!!
But I had to focus…
So I managed to calm down my thoughts. You really can’t afford to disconnect from a moment of stillness once you achieve it, you don’t want the chaos in your mind to erupt!! 

I had to keep that calm and pen down something. 
Oooommmmm…
My thoughts brought me to FORGIVENESS. OWNING UP TO MY ACTIONS. LETTING GO AND PEACE….in that order really. 
(I was gaining my rhythm and was starting to feel more Centered)
I recently read that when you find that at some point life isn’t working, you have to look closely to see where you can forgive..Yourself, others, but mostly Yourself. And also to ask God to always forgive you. 
We all find ourselves in messes. I as many, are all victims of unforgiveness and not owning up to our actions.. We find it hard to be honest especially to ourselves. But to have peace, you really have to!!
Holding grudges is easy., But they have very damaging consequences….emotionally!!
We should be as quick to let go as small children are. Their conflict resolution is amazing. They don’t dwell on negativity. They’re quick to handle it there and then and move on. 
We can’t always be happy. That’s a given. But it’s a choice. It’s hard to forgive at times but it’s still achievable…because Peace is way cheaper than unforgiveness. Try to forgive, you don’t have to wait for an apology. If you want to be unhappy, hold onto anger. Don’t forgive. Pile up small issues…..etc
And as cool as you want to be, you are allowed to go thru all the motions. Cry. Wonder. Ask. Seek. 

Not all days are sunny, sometimes thunder is welcome. 
Stay on Purpose. Forgive. Let go. Be light. Give Light. Choose Peace. Be peace. 

  

Remembering Papa..

  
Minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into months, months into years….two to be exact since wings were officially fixed on you and you found your way to heaven and now dancing with the other angels. It’s never easy at all, it never has been and it never will. I wish we are prepped long before when someone leaves just how to live without them. Maybe it will make it easy. 

As we go on day after day, we cherish the memories and enjoy the time God gave us with you. I keep thinking about you even if it pains…..

There are so many things that we need you to see. Words are inadequate…..

Dad….How ironic is it that people waste moments not listening to or paying much attention to people when they are alive?… But when they are not there, We live yearning for those moments? Life is Tricky at times. 

Hard lessons are instilled into us..that you should cherish people who matter in your life. To Find time….Not excuses!!

I want to assure you that in as much as life has it’s twists and turns, we are trying our level best in our èndevours. 

In The curve balls that life throws at us, we put our trust in God and somehow we pull through. 

My consolation is that I always know that you are smiling down on us. 

And as we continue to celebrate your life, we Thank God that He made you for us. 


Dance Papa. Dance. 

  

The Here and Now….

Days fly by so fast. So so so fast. At times you can’t catch up. Other times you are at per…..In the moment….
You go through life expecting things to happen for you. Doing what everyone expect of you, tucking your happiness under your pillow when you make your bed in the morning on some days and on other days letting things go and focusing on the now. At times you don’t take charge of your life…You at times decide to just be…
I am 💯% responsible for my life. I am my choices. I am in charge. I just need to remember that. Always.
I could give me more credit for my talents and abilities. I could do with more belief in self and confidence. This is always a work in progress in all of us….
The weekend felt awesome and it proceeded to make Monday feel like an additional day in the weekend. You laugh so hard you wanna cry or you actually do. These moments don’t happen everyday but they happen. Special moments. Bonding with family and friends….
I only got one shot in life. This is it. It’s a great gift. I mean why should I not enjoy everything that it has to offer? We can’t turn back the hands of time and do things over again. Nope. You just can’t!!
You have to venture out. Into the unknown. With faith. Belief in self. Smiles. Laughter. Tears. Heartbreak. Highs. Lows. All of it. 
Just know how to react to the situations. 
Remember: God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds. Reminding us not to force anything…for things happen perfectly in time…
Stay Zen!!
  
 

Wisdom Galore…

I don’t take for granted all the wisdom and inspiration I get from some of the people I meet in life. While others call you names and talk ill of you, others are there to encourage you and urge you on.

With permission from one of my elderly friends, lemmi talk about why we should not sit and whine…

She is turning 75 very soon and she is as active as a 30 year old. She does what many people won’t do even in their 20’s.

She drives very long distances, she has a beautiful garden with all these wonderful herbs and vegetables (she waters her garden). She does field work as well as office work.

In all the years I have known her, she has broken her back thrice, her ankle, her wrist, shoulder and knee surgeries. (How can one body take all that?). I ask her how she does it. We laugh about it so much. Then recently she was told she had cancer of the stomach, it broke my heart but then after tests and a major surgery to remove part of her stomach, she was told it would not spread….whoop whoop!!!!

All this time, she was doing volunteer canceling at the hospital and also some beautiful embroidery.

When she was discharged she was up and about and back to what she does best….HELPING PEOPLE….CHEERFULLY!!

When she speaks, I listen and listen….
…So I told her she needs to encourage all the young people who give up after they face challenges….She does it (encouragement) so easily. One thing she encouraged me to always do is to PRAY. To Do what I can with the time that I have been given. 🙆
Honestly, she oozes wisdom and just by looking at her you can be challenged to up your game. She always walks fast and when she is walking slowly, she is in quiet mode in prayer.

Lessons learnt:

1. draw my inspiration from people who take time to also value others and themselves.

2: Age is not a limit. You are your own limit.

3: Enjoy what you do!!

4: Friendship is not about age. It’s about those people who tag your heart in a good way.

5: Laughter is indeed medicine. Trust me!!

6: Exercise by reaching out to help those around you.

I am rich in my heart. I look forward to draw wisdom from the experiences I encounter and people I meet and places I go to and from the days as they come.

Stay Wise😎!!

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