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Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script 😂😂💦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

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To Forgive…

Somewhere along the way…in the journey that is life…on the graph of living, you find that as days present themselves, you can find yourself with so much inspiration or none at all…and not that it’s not really present but we fail to see it. You find that pressure takes over. And we let it!!
So on this particular day, I had my pen and my journal, and all I could do was stare at it, BLANK!! Which was ironic because the reason why I was in that moment was my rambling thoughts…to pour my heart out!!
But I had to focus…
So I managed to calm down my thoughts. You really can’t afford to disconnect from a moment of stillness once you achieve it, you don’t want the chaos in your mind to erupt!! 

I had to keep that calm and pen down something. 
Oooommmmm…
My thoughts brought me to FORGIVENESS. OWNING UP TO MY ACTIONS. LETTING GO AND PEACE….in that order really. 
(I was gaining my rhythm and was starting to feel more Centered)
I recently read that when you find that at some point life isn’t working, you have to look closely to see where you can forgive..Yourself, others, but mostly Yourself. And also to ask God to always forgive you. 
We all find ourselves in messes. I as many, are all victims of unforgiveness and not owning up to our actions.. We find it hard to be honest especially to ourselves. But to have peace, you really have to!!
Holding grudges is easy., But they have very damaging consequences….emotionally!!
We should be as quick to let go as small children are. Their conflict resolution is amazing. They don’t dwell on negativity. They’re quick to handle it there and then and move on. 
We can’t always be happy. That’s a given. But it’s a choice. It’s hard to forgive at times but it’s still achievable…because Peace is way cheaper than unforgiveness. Try to forgive, you don’t have to wait for an apology. If you want to be unhappy, hold onto anger. Don’t forgive. Pile up small issues…..etc
And as cool as you want to be, you are allowed to go thru all the motions. Cry. Wonder. Ask. Seek. 

Not all days are sunny, sometimes thunder is welcome. 
Stay on Purpose. Forgive. Let go. Be light. Give Light. Choose Peace. Be peace. 

  

Remembering Papa..

  
Minutes turned into hours, hours into days, days into months, months into years….two to be exact since wings were officially fixed on you and you found your way to heaven and now dancing with the other angels. It’s never easy at all, it never has been and it never will. I wish we are prepped long before when someone leaves just how to live without them. Maybe it will make it easy. 

As we go on day after day, we cherish the memories and enjoy the time God gave us with you. I keep thinking about you even if it pains…..

There are so many things that we need you to see. Words are inadequate…..

Dad….How ironic is it that people waste moments not listening to or paying much attention to people when they are alive?… But when they are not there, We live yearning for those moments? Life is Tricky at times. 

Hard lessons are instilled into us..that you should cherish people who matter in your life. To Find time….Not excuses!!

I want to assure you that in as much as life has it’s twists and turns, we are trying our level best in our èndevours. 

In The curve balls that life throws at us, we put our trust in God and somehow we pull through. 

My consolation is that I always know that you are smiling down on us. 

And as we continue to celebrate your life, we Thank God that He made you for us. 


Dance Papa. Dance. 

  

The Here and Now….

Days fly by so fast. So so so fast. At times you can’t catch up. Other times you are at per…..In the moment….
You go through life expecting things to happen for you. Doing what everyone expect of you, tucking your happiness under your pillow when you make your bed in the morning on some days and on other days letting things go and focusing on the now. At times you don’t take charge of your life…You at times decide to just be…
I am 💯% responsible for my life. I am my choices. I am in charge. I just need to remember that. Always.
I could give me more credit for my talents and abilities. I could do with more belief in self and confidence. This is always a work in progress in all of us….
The weekend felt awesome and it proceeded to make Monday feel like an additional day in the weekend. You laugh so hard you wanna cry or you actually do. These moments don’t happen everyday but they happen. Special moments. Bonding with family and friends….
I only got one shot in life. This is it. It’s a great gift. I mean why should I not enjoy everything that it has to offer? We can’t turn back the hands of time and do things over again. Nope. You just can’t!!
You have to venture out. Into the unknown. With faith. Belief in self. Smiles. Laughter. Tears. Heartbreak. Highs. Lows. All of it. 
Just know how to react to the situations. 
Remember: God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds. Reminding us not to force anything…for things happen perfectly in time…
Stay Zen!!
  
 

Wisdom Galore…

I don’t take for granted all the wisdom and inspiration I get from some of the people I meet in life. While others call you names and talk ill of you, others are there to encourage you and urge you on.

With permission from one of my elderly friends, lemmi talk about why we should not sit and whine…

She is turning 75 very soon and she is as active as a 30 year old. She does what many people won’t do even in their 20’s.

She drives very long distances, she has a beautiful garden with all these wonderful herbs and vegetables (she waters her garden). She does field work as well as office work.

In all the years I have known her, she has broken her back thrice, her ankle, her wrist, shoulder and knee surgeries. (How can one body take all that?). I ask her how she does it. We laugh about it so much. Then recently she was told she had cancer of the stomach, it broke my heart but then after tests and a major surgery to remove part of her stomach, she was told it would not spread….whoop whoop!!!!

All this time, she was doing volunteer canceling at the hospital and also some beautiful embroidery.

When she was discharged she was up and about and back to what she does best….HELPING PEOPLE….CHEERFULLY!!

When she speaks, I listen and listen….
…So I told her she needs to encourage all the young people who give up after they face challenges….She does it (encouragement) so easily. One thing she encouraged me to always do is to PRAY. To Do what I can with the time that I have been given. 🙆
Honestly, she oozes wisdom and just by looking at her you can be challenged to up your game. She always walks fast and when she is walking slowly, she is in quiet mode in prayer.

Lessons learnt:

1. draw my inspiration from people who take time to also value others and themselves.

2: Age is not a limit. You are your own limit.

3: Enjoy what you do!!

4: Friendship is not about age. It’s about those people who tag your heart in a good way.

5: Laughter is indeed medicine. Trust me!!

6: Exercise by reaching out to help those around you.

I am rich in my heart. I look forward to draw wisdom from the experiences I encounter and people I meet and places I go to and from the days as they come.

Stay Wise😎!!

Self Care is Not Selfish…

Lucile Ball puts it so nicely, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world!”

I couldn’t agree more. Life is busy. Many of us forget to self care because we are too busy….or rather, ‘too busy’…or ‘we don’t have time’….

BUT….we can create it as we make our other plans….as you schedule in other things in your busy days…don’t forget to include you!

A nice cup of coffee.or tea…with a good book or cake…. :-p

A massage…

A short trip…

A gym session…..

Whatever you love to do……DO IT!

We are often told to fall in love with taking care of ourselves ..MIND, BODY & SOUL!

This spiritual journey has nothing to do about being nice….being nice comes in when you are REAL. AUTHENTIC. HAVING/SETTING BOUNDARIES. HONORING YOUR SPACE FIRST….Then being nice comes in naturally….it Flows not motivated by fear but by Love….Love of self…. It all starts form you…. easy to say but very doable…..just fix it in your days/day….write it down and plaster it on your walls if you have to….lol

So find something that works for you and turn it into YOUR TIME!!

Here are some quotes to help you be authentic and to remind you that you also matter:-

 

Quotable Quotes…

Stop being on auto-pilot, Put yourself first, 

Recognize yourself, 

Stop pleasing other people,

or chasing some version of success that doesn’t resonate with you,

No need to numb it out with food, shopping, booze, TV, or other distractions,

Stop being worn down, beat up, stressed out, and completely depleted…. 
Wake Up

Live Intentionally!!! 

 

The List….✨

I told myself to pick something random to do. Anything that will help in this journey of authenticity. So I took a book and wrote down three things that I want to carry into the year ahead…

To smile!
To Breathe!
To shake it off!

Reflections of the year gone by are oh so mighty….Oh boy what a year!!!It feels like a blink of an eye. Working too hard. So much to do. So little time. Too many emotions. Too many changes. Leaps. Dips. Bounds. The works… An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving for the year that has been is all I have….WHOA!!!

SMILE:Smiling moments have been many. But the moment that crowns it all is smiling because God has got my back no matter what. And many many tiny wow (in a good way) moments…engraved in my heart!!

BREATH: It’s inevitable at times…to find yourself holding your breath because you allow yourself to be consumed in what the tough and rough times offer….as it’s human and universal…take time and breath…just whoosa as much as you can. Through Disappointments…breathe! Through Expectations…breathe! Anger…..breath! Tiredness….breath!!

SHAKE IT OFF:You ever found yourself in a situation where so much is expected of you and you give it your all and somehow it’s never enough? Yeah, I know you know what am talking about…well, honey, don’t stress…just SHAKE IT OFF!! There is only so much we can possibly do. Situations, people, some days will always want more from you. Don’t kill yourself trying to fit in.SHAKE IT …….OOOF!!!

So I sat and looked at my list and thought how simple yet at times hard to do these things. Really!!! But I will carry this through.

As a human, given a plain white piece of paper with a single black dot placed randomly within the paper…we tend to focus on the black dot missing out on all the white and we just end up feeling stuck up, bitter…etc…

But life is an adventure….the real adventure is the life we share with the people we have along the way. The adventure of a lifetime is always right in front of us….it’s cleverly disguised as a familiar face.

There is always a million pick me ups along the journey. Let’s focus on the white. The positive vibes. The familiar faces that care. The moments that make your heart smile. Let the hard times shape and STRENGTHEN you, don’t let them bring you down.

SO SMILE. BREATHE. SHAKE IT OFF!!!

A brand new year AWAITS!!

WhoopWhoop😜!!

A Little Time Out..


Pauline, you mean you just decide to go a cafe/restaurant and have coffee/eat all by yourself?”

Of cos I do. I enjoy my company a lot.
Someone once asked me… I was shocked. I mean why not? It’s encouraged to take yourself to a place you enjoy and just be. You can have a book. Music. Or just look around.
Life gets intense. Uncertain. And super fast.

It’s easy to loose yourself in the daily grind. And that’s not a GOOD place to be at. It sometimes feels like you loose your mind and as a “search team” is out there looking for it….for me it’s time out alone to find this mind. Lol

Take time to reconnect with yourself once in a while. Recharge your batteries. It’s therapy.

There are so much we desire to do and hope to be. Open hearted. Awake. A desire to live a great life. To be connected emotionally. Personally. Spiritually.

When the pressures multiply then we become edgy and loose all the above… We are more like battery operated machines. Doing routines……Things we can do with our eyes closed.
So why not take time off…for you??

“living in the pink” is the book am currently reading. It’s an awesome book. And while I sip my lemonade.( it’s been super hot)…and turn the pages of this book… I touch base with my spirituality…. It’s one of those aspects we tend to loose focus on when the hussle gets real…sadly!!

So if you see me alone a book, headphones, coffee/tea/cake on the table…seated somewhere…, then am just doing myself a huge favor by treating myself to some “myself time”…lol

For some it’s an out of town stay, gym day, spa day… Whatever you fancy go for it!!

If you are looking for that one person who can change your life, take a look in the mirror…..!”



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