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In this Moment…

Living in the moment…..
Often times, it’s conflicting when you think about this statement. 

Yes, day to day we gather experiences and moments that linger on forever. Not to be edited or forgotten. 
We purpose to be in the here and the now. 
But often times, our mind drifts to the what ifs. 

You become cloudy in judgement of the present moments and doubt kicks in big time.

You miss out on the moment and it passes you by just like that. 

You at times wake up in some mornings and you lack the zest to do anything. 

You feel exhausted and the world weighs in on you…..This is very human. 

You lack the motivation to do anything important.

You feel drained. 

You overthink situations. 

And wonder whether anything you do is truly worthwhile…..Again, a very human tendency. 
It’s at times like this that are wake-me-up moments and turning points because they’re like vampires…they sap the energy right out of you only to leave you totally drained..and you wonder, why you have to dwell on the negative vibes. 
If you’re a positive person most of the times you can relate. It feels like prison. You want to get out of that negative moment and face the world head on. 
You want to get out of that moment and experience what the world has to offer and gain the experience from it all. 
It’s in that moment that you count and appreciate all the blessings that are there. 
It’s in that moment that you pray so hard for added strength. 
It’s in that moment that you realize you have come from so far for you to turn back. 
It’s in that moment that you exhale the bad vibes and inhale the good that is in life. 
It’s in that moment that life makes so much sense you pinch yourself for ever doubting your capabilities. 
It’s in that moment that you truly LIVE!!

  

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Lessons in 2017…

Here we are Again…END OF THE YEAR!!
2017! 2017! 2017! Poof!!!
WOW! What a Year!
It’s about time we bid it adieu. 
What a Different Year, cast and script we’ve all had. Phew!
The year has had so much going on. As usual…Emotional roller-coasters, the high-highs, the low-lows, the in-betweens, many many learning experiences. There were some days that made me age so much in one sitting. Other days that made me feel so young and vibrant. Like literally sitting on top of the world. All in all, I am wiser most definitely. For choosing to focus my eyes above the waves of Life. I draw my wisdom and strength because I choose to learn from the Lessons of Life. 
If I was to sum up this year in one word, it’ll probably be AWAKENING. Like the breaking of dawn, I’ve felt awakened in so many aspects. The MIND. The BODY. The SPIRIT. 
The MIND: I choose to focus on what matters most. At some point I almost allow negativity to take over and in that fleeting moment, I’m crushed! I’m human. I’m slowly and steadily finding it easy to pick my surroundings, not the other way around. With people and with situations. Like they say, aim to be a rainbow in someone’s mind. 
The BODY: oh this is a forever battle!!

Choosing a life of Fitness and Zen-ness can be challenging. You have to purpose to do it. I accept this challenge every morning when I wake up. After all, I am what I eat and think. Right?? So let’s eat those cucumbers people☺️
The SPIRIT: this is all the most important. Feeding my spirit has helped me sort through some situations that were hard. God never fails. His Grace will never fail. It’s so sufficient in my life. Yay!! And remember, don’t be against yourself: STAY POSITIVE😀😊
As the Cheer and the Christmas Spirit fills the earth, I approach the end of the year with gratitude. After all, Gratitude is a very powerful instrument. I am looking forward to more oomph and actualization in 2018. Gratitude should take the biggest part of it. For Life. For. Health. For Provision. For Family. For Friendships. For Love. For Laughter. For the Here. For the Now. 
My sleeves are rolled for 2018. Armed and ready to Sparkle On!!

  

Emotional Weightloss…

I am purposed on maintaining a weight that is ideal. So this morning, I’m busy making coffee and oatmeal and loading it with some almonds and raisins and some milk. I love my mornings. The freshness of it and the new promise. When I’ve had a goodnight sleep I will wake up and work out at least four times a week is good (take time to enjoy breakfast)…So while I’m enjoying this awesomeness, I’m not so much worried about my physical weight….per se…..

We obsess on loosing physical weight and forget about the mental weight. 

There is so much that weighs down on us. So much that even contributes to the physical weight naturally. 

Emotional baggage is serious. We go on into the days with so much on our minds. 

I did an observation on myself recently, that when I wake up and affirm myself positively and smile and give thanks I will have a grand morning and day…

When I’m rushing to turn off the alarm and with questions of yesterday, then I lack motivation to face the day…
So in as much as you are doing all you do to loose that muffin top, or whatever it is that’s your target weight, do it with a free mind. Breath in. Breath out. Feel the moment that is now. And go on and enjoy your bowl of morning cereal or afternoon salad or whatever tickles your fancy..
Stresses are there but if you know how to not let things weigh you down then you learn to enjoy other things. Have a spirit of letting things go…

It’s not a one day thing, it’s a journey that starts with positive self affirmation. 
Happiness is an inside job continue to Embrace it!!

  

Tomorrow is Not a Guarantee…

23:05:2015

I’ve just taken a motorbike to the hospital to see Papa since it’s visiting hours. It’s some minutes past noon and I have to be there in good time. He has been in hospital for almost a month. He is suffering from Dementia, Hypertension and Diabetes and they had to do a procedure to try see if it can help with the pressure wounds he had developed. 

The state I find him in is not very promising. He is on oxygen. How did this happen? “Complications of the surgery!” They say. He gives me this look. I can’t explain. I give him porridge. He eats abit. 

When the visiting hours are almost over, his condition deteriorates, he is gasping for more air. He is using his abdominal muscles now. As a medic, this is not a good sign. I help prop him some more. It helps only, but a little. 

They tell me to pray, I can’t find the words. I am crying now. So much is on my mind. I pray nonetheless. And wonder if this will be my last time to see what is left of his body…..with some life.  

I go on as difficult as it is and the call comes hours later from my brother that he had taken his last breath. Pronounced dead. 
He suffered. A lot…!
PRESENT DAY: 17:10:2017 

This was not long ago. But it feels like just yesterday when he went to be with The Lord. It’s crazy to think that someone who had such a huge part of your life can be gone in a second. 

It’s a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s the kind of heartache you feel in your bones. 
Is there a proper goodbye really? Just yesterday a friend slept and never woke up…No last words. Nothing. A very young person….so full of life!! 

We never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory~ dr. Seuss. 

THE NOW: 1527hours 



Why do we take life for granted? 

Why don’t we cherish it when we have good health? 

Why do we take for granted people who are placed in our lives? 

Why don’t we treat moments as if they’ll never come again? 

Give your all to what matters?

Do good?

Eat well?

Exercise?

Forgive? 

Move on?

Be in the now?

Our time is limited indeed.

Today is the perfect day to be happy!!!

Cherish it!!

  


Future Self…

Dear future Pauline,
It’s 19:55pm on the tenth day of 2017, October. You’re heading home after a rather hot day. Work was good. You’re listening to Goo Goo Dolls and loving it. 
You’re in your early thirties and you’re going to ask yourself questions more often than not. Questions like, if I made different choices in life will I be here in this moment? 

And if I chose different, would it be a better moment or good or best? 

Would I be a better parent? 

A better friend? 

Or daughter? 

You’re going to wonder why people never follow script 😂😂💦. 
But one thing that will quiet your busy mind is the fact that you’ll be grateful for what you have:

Life. 

Health. 

Motherhood. 

Friendships. 

A job. 

Shelter. 

Food. 

And you’ll find that that list of gratitude will always grow.

You will work hard to keep healthy habits.

You’ll cherish the people who matter to you and you will take care of them wholeheartedly. 

Many things will break your heart but you will rise above because of your ability to take the lessons and learn from them. 

You will try and find positivity wherever it exists. 

You will be guarded but open to those people who show you that they’re worthy. You will break. 

You will be broken. 

You will laugh. 

You will love. 

You will sing. 

You will dance. 

You will embrace the days as they come. Because mastering the art of loving yourself wasn’t an easy path. 

And with each new chapter that life will present to you, you will know that you’re the author. You hold the pen.  

You will aim to write a story that will be engraved in many hearts. 

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is, I’m the pilot!!
It’s 20:10pm and I feel good having written. I’m almost reaching home. The commute wasn’t that bad. It’s a good evening. 
Let’s see what the next moment brings. 
  

To Forgive…

Somewhere along the way…in the journey that is life…on the graph of living, you find that as days present themselves, you can find yourself with so much inspiration or none at all…and not that it’s not really present but we fail to see it. You find that pressure takes over. And we let it!!
So on this particular day, I had my pen and my journal, and all I could do was stare at it, BLANK!! Which was ironic because the reason why I was in that moment was my rambling thoughts…to pour my heart out!!
But I had to focus…
So I managed to calm down my thoughts. You really can’t afford to disconnect from a moment of stillness once you achieve it, you don’t want the chaos in your mind to erupt!! 

I had to keep that calm and pen down something. 
Oooommmmm…
My thoughts brought me to FORGIVENESS. OWNING UP TO MY ACTIONS. LETTING GO AND PEACE….in that order really. 
(I was gaining my rhythm and was starting to feel more Centered)
I recently read that when you find that at some point life isn’t working, you have to look closely to see where you can forgive..Yourself, others, but mostly Yourself. And also to ask God to always forgive you. 
We all find ourselves in messes. I as many, are all victims of unforgiveness and not owning up to our actions.. We find it hard to be honest especially to ourselves. But to have peace, you really have to!!
Holding grudges is easy., But they have very damaging consequences….emotionally!!
We should be as quick to let go as small children are. Their conflict resolution is amazing. They don’t dwell on negativity. They’re quick to handle it there and then and move on. 
We can’t always be happy. That’s a given. But it’s a choice. It’s hard to forgive at times but it’s still achievable…because Peace is way cheaper than unforgiveness. Try to forgive, you don’t have to wait for an apology. If you want to be unhappy, hold onto anger. Don’t forgive. Pile up small issues…..etc
And as cool as you want to be, you are allowed to go thru all the motions. Cry. Wonder. Ask. Seek. 

Not all days are sunny, sometimes thunder is welcome. 
Stay on Purpose. Forgive. Let go. Be light. Give Light. Choose Peace. Be peace. 

  

Quotable Quotes…

  
If you want life to be happier you must change your thinking. It’s how you deal with stress that determines how well you achieve Happiness. 

Quotable Quotes…

 

Through the Motions…

As others are soaking in the sun and enjoying their summer season, I was looking for sunshine and found it in a double caramel macchiato and carrot cake…the weather has been chilly lately. I really don’t mind it though…the cold weather that is….so I checked into a Cafè for some much needed coffee fix and just to chill and gaze at people and read and just be…

The past few months have been crazy, too much to be done,..going through the motions, the highs, the lows…all these not new to anyone really… But, as usual I’ve come to learn so much. You just have to learn. There is no other way. Life is that way. Not sometimes…. But all the TIME!!


I’ve come to find fulfillment in simple things. That being a minimalist is so much better. That giving is far much better than receiving. That actions will always speak louder than words….That words are only words unless acted upon…

That you give energy to what impacts you positively..

That moving on with life is okay. You don’t need to be stuck up!

That people aren’t what they seem to be and that’s also okay!

That there’s no need to hold on to what you can’t control!

That you can manage your anger when life upsets you…just Whooooosa😜!!

That planning ahead pays up big time!

That dreams do come true!


For me it’s an enlightment as I grow older. Day by day, moment by moment, there’s always a reminder that life is precious. We’re here only once. 


Be thankful for life. For peace of mind. Provision. Shelter. Clean water. Clothing. Food. Families. Friends. Laughter. And the list in endless..


And if things are so hard you just can’t stand them…just kneel….PRAY!!


As I sip on my mug of sunshine and eat my cake…I am just thankful for this moment!!!

  

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